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We discovered that sometimes if her doctor told her she needed to do something (see a specialist, take a med) she might agree, but what was most successful saying "mom, now it's time to...:"
I would make an appointment for dad to see a psychiatrist and take him to the appointment with you. Tall to the doctor, with dad, about your observations about his sadness and anxiety.
Some folks might say "oh, but he'll be angry with you". To which I say "so what?"
If you can't withstand some anger from your parent, you haven't really grown up.
Should he go to a gerontologist? Can they help?
It's a challenge, for sure.
My DH saw a resident psychiatrist who was affiliated with the Hospital and so she WAS doing talk therapy as part of her training. She graduated and so DH was kind of left in the lurch. He has stayed on his meds (I call him on it when I know he's trying to sneaky pete his way out of taking them)..I wish he could find a therapist he liked--but he's happier and better, for the most part, so I don't rock the boat.
What did it take, initially, for him to get help?
Me, on my knees (LITERALLY) crying in front of him as he lay in bed, pillow over his head to try to ignore me. I really let him have it, how HARD it was to see him emotionally so sad and there was HELP--and finally saying I was going to leave him b/c I was not going to live with his misery one more day.
It was humiliating.
BUT...
Next day, he was actually able to get in to see this Dr. and was immediately put on AD's and was dxed as being 'severely depressed'.
He is not the man I married at all. But, he's not laying in bed all day, 4 days a week. I hope he finds a new therapist. Actually the one he saw gave him enough 'tools' that if he ever READ the stuff she gave him, it would really help.
Years of trying to be kind, sweet, mean, ignoring, supporting his sadness just wore me out. I'm not proud of the crying fit I threw, but he is terrified I would leave him.
Initially, I think for you, a trip to the PCP's and a referral to a psych doc is in order.
Truthfully, you cannot MAKE anyone do something they just don't want to do.
I do wish you luck. It's hard.