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Caring for someone who regularly tells you he hates you... That must be heartbreaking, sp2986. And to be dealing with all of his problems and behaviors without help, very hard. This doesn't sound like a sustainable situation for either of you.
It doesn't say he has dementia but getting lost, anger outbursts and crying because he thought you were putting him in a home could be symptoms. It would be great if you could get him back for a psychiatric evaluation, preferably with a geriatric psychiatrist or neurologist.
You need to stop taking on all the work of your dad. Call a family meeting and get your siblings and anyone else involved.
He can "spend down" his assets then apply for Medicaid when he has less than $2000. in the bank.
Good luck. It so hard to take verbal abuse when you're only trying to help them.
Here are some things that help me keep my depression in check: Two anti-depressants, quarterly visits to psychiatrist, occasional counseling sessions, use of a blue light every day, vitamin D supplement (I'm in a northern climate), and regular exercise. (I use a treadmill.) (Oh, and daily chocolate!)
Depression can almost always be treated and with better results than your dad seems to be getting. I sure hope he can find someone who looks at the bigger picture and doesn't just hand out pills. (Pills help ... they just aren't enough alone.)
The Dept for Aging, talked to me for an hour, and signed me up for Caregiver classes. As well as determining what other help he needs.
It sounds like his depression treatment isn't working very well. Is he taking medications for that, too? Is he seeing a geriatric psychiatrist? That might be a good approach at this time.