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Carol
What was weird, I could see it coming in dad's eyes. The key was to diffuse it before it began. So I would stand out of his line of site, but keep an eye on him through a mirror and "just appear" if he went to make a brake for it. I used to ask him for things, since he LOVES to help out. If the look in his eyes got fiery I knew I was in for a rough one.
Maybe others can offer some other options?? Now dad is in assisted living and he responds much better to strangers than to me. They know his trigger to distract him is asking him to "help" with things. He's instantly distracted because his core fiber and reason for existence is in helping. It works every time (well except for once when his world was being changed).
Hope this helps.
I found out today that my mother pulled a knife on a visiting neighbor last week-end and threatened to kill her. The woman handled the situation and left safely but it brought things to a head and made my father realize changes needed to be made.
This neighbor said my Mom wanted to "take a chain saw and kill" all the people living next door. She also said she wanted to kill several neighbors and both my father and me. (Apparently she has no anger issues with my older sister.)
She also is constantly paranoid and sees many people in the house who aren't there. They steal her things and frighten her.
My Dad finally openned up to me today and said that she has thrown things at him, including furniture, and threatened him with a knife. I think this stuff is happening frequently. With the attack on the neighbor Dad has come to terms with the need to get Mom into an Alzheimers unit but right now can only get her on the waiting list. Until then she will continue living with my father in their house.
Is it possible that my Mom would act on the things that she says? Is it safe for Dad to be in the house alone with her?
Otherwise, and outside emergencies, I too would be asking why this behaviour is so extreme. What medication is that person on? Could it be causing these side-effects - hallucinations, paranoia, aggression? Alcohol? High blood pressure? These can contribute too.
Inthemidst, I wonder if you both still have your own homes?
... marriage is a commitment in sickness and in health. If you were married, you would owe him the commitment. People choose their situations many times, and the consequences of our choices can be either healthy or destructive. The question is, which way do you really want to go?
God bless you in your decision.
I wonder if you told his children then all of you, as a family, could help him together. He might still refuse to beleive he could be ill, but you would not be alone in dealing with it. Best wishes.
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