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How old is this person?
What relationship are they to you?
Are you their caregiver? If not, who is?
What caused them to be in a wheelchair?
Where are they living? (Their home, your home, facility, other?)
Are you their PoA? Is anyone their PoA?
What do they need to be motivated to do?
Only you know your dad and what he's most likely to respond to.
I’m going to make a guess since you chose refusing care as a topic that he/ or she is refusing help with hygiene and possibly incontinence care ?
Where does this person live , at home , at someone else’s home ? Who does he/she live with ? Does an aide come to the home ? Or does this person live in assisted living ?
Is the person depressed , if so are they are meds to help mood and if so has the doctor been asked about a med change to try to improve mood?
What reason does this person state for refusing care ? My mother with dementia insisted and believed she was washing . My father in law with dementia refused help because he thought the staff was told to take away his independence .
It can be very difficult to get someone with dementia to accept hygiene care . Are you sure it’s only early dementia , and not more advanced , If it’s more advanced a memory care facility would be the place where staff are used to dealing with stubborn behaviors which is common with dementia .
Make sure their feet are up and walk slowly. If they put their feet down on the ground as you are moving fast, they will fall forward on their head!
Take them to the kitchen table for a snack, or coffee, and just talk.
Play a game. A simple one. There are some children's games that are fun - a little more physical and not too mentally demanding. Get creative and toss a soft, fluffy, stuffed animal back and forth. Get pool noodles and have a sword fight. Buy an indoor bowling set. The pins and ball are plastic, so nothing gets damaged. The pins are pain to set up though, every time they get knocked down. Have a kid around to do that. :)
Limit your time trying to engage the person. They may find it exhausting.
Give them time to rest. Nobody likes to be prodded into doing something.
If you are struggling with their refusal of care,
Don't give them questions or choices! Just do what needs to be done. Calmly explain everything you are about to do, one step at a time.
The choices could be confusing or overwhelming for them. If the person is stubborn, once they decide to refuse or go against you, they will dig in their heels! Just explain what needs to happen. And then do it.