By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
When my father kept getting back to back UTIs, he was at end of life and I got him on hospice too.
I don't know that your mom is approaching end of life herself, but it may be a good idea to get her evaluated for hospice to see what they think. It seems to me when an elder starts talking about seeing their deceased loved ones a lot, they themselves are getting ready to transition.
It's very difficult to get these calls and to stay composed, I know.....its very unsettling. This whole journey is so fraught with worry and uncertainty, it's mind boggling. I pray for inner peace for YOU, my friend, knowing that you're doing everything humanly possible for your mom right now. Be kind to yourself.
Typically, my mom doesn't seem agitated as much as just talking crazy about dead people. She's usually pretty calm about it and easily distracted like when I told her that I already called grandma to tell her that we wouldn't be able to make it to her house tonight. She bought that quite calmly.
I have been wondering when the appropriate time to ask for a hospice evaluation would be. I guess in the next week or two, if she does not rally at all, then it becomes something more considerable. Her life sucks and I do not believe in artificially extending it. She has level 5 dementia so I don't know if that's enough to qualify. I just want her calm and pain free and comfortable, both mentally and physically.
This dementia journey is certainly unsettling and mind boggling. Seriously, my mind gets blown with the new and strange places her mind goes. It's kind of interesting but mostly just so damn sad.
I know I am doing a lot for her and I feel good about that. If I didn't push this UTI retest, would they do it on their own? Doubtful. Which kind of sucks. I'm trying to be kind to myself but just don't have enough hours to do enough for myself. Hey at least I already got in a nice hot whirlpool tub today!
The fact that this UTI is being treated inadequately is allowing that only the weak bacteria get killed off each time, with the stronger ones remaining, making it more and more difficult to cure. She may need prophylactic antibiotic, a good one such as cipro. MDs no longer like to treat using it as it has complications, but the complications of her UTI, IF that is what this is, are life changing and severe enough to make this a life not worth living for her. If there's incontinence or inadequate cleansing (and even without those problems) this may be an ongoing problem.
Meanwhile, this is a problem for Medical treatment AND a problem that you need the LTC facility to understand must be addressed with removal of the phone past a certain hour. There is also, sadly going to come a time when you may need to turn off your own phone, and turn it on every few hours to collect messages.
There is also Telecalm at 888 701 0411 and telecalmprotects.com. Has certain phones that are scam and spam blocking, and stops multiple outgoing numbers repeated over a short time with family of facility notifications of any 9ll calls. It can also work on corded phone without internet access, so you may want to check this company out. It has been mentioned on AC in the past and I made note of it to pass on. I have no personal history of using it.
Good luck, and I am sorry you're going through this.
She doesn't have her own phone anymore but has to ask the nurses to call me. It would be easy for me to tell them not to have her call me after X hour. I am the one you might have heard about telecalm from. I used it for awhile and really like it but the router kept needing to be reset and there's no way my mother could handle that, never mind remember how to make a phone call. I think I'll give it a day or two more to see if the new anti-biotic helps enough to get the convos more into a tolerable level of confusion. It not, I'll ask them to tell her something like "Oh your daughter said she would be going out to dinner tonight and wouldn't be available to talk tonight" or something like that.
She is currently being given trazadone at 2 (25mg) and bedtime (50mg). The staff thinks this is working pretty well. Me? I'm not so sure. When I ask my mom to give the phone back to the nurse, I usually tell them about the crazy things she is saying and they often say that she's not telling them these kinds of things. Oh boy. So, by a calming med - do you have something other than this one in mind? I know people often mention Ativan. I wonder if that can be paired with the afternoon trazadone which is to try to keep the sundowners at least somewhat under control.
I understand what you're saying about the stronger bacteria surviving. I am going to ask them to retest again after this current course of treatment and lobby for a different and longer course of treatment if the UTI is still active. She is mostly incontinent - tries to make it to the bathroom but pees whenever she stands up at the very least. An aid always helps her as her strength isn't what is could/should be. I really don't want her in the hospital so I'll see what I can push for in LTC.
LTC facilities are limited in their care.
I did homecare for many, many seniors with dementia over 25 years in the caregiving field. Some of them were completely invalid, bedbound, incontinent clients in diapers 24/7 and they had less problems with UTI's than your mother does. Your mother needs more hygiene care done more often than it's being done now. The best way to treat a UTI is to prevent one.
It's a given that any LTC facility no matter how high-end or expensive is going to cut corners on CNA staff and the patients are going to suffer for it.
Would it be possible to hire a part-time caregiver for your mother? Someone who will go to the facility a couple times a day to make sure she's clean and dry? Even just once a day will help in addition to the CNA toileting/diapering schedule at the facility. It's terrible that families often have to hire private help for a loved one in a fully-staffed LTC facility, but it's reality so much of the time.
Another relative met sis there. Sis told the nurse that she had been bleeding 3 months. The nurse didn’t believe her. Blood work done. She was admitted in ICU and given 6 pints of blood over 6 days. Diagnosed with bladder cancer. In rehab now and has to get stronger before options can be considered for treatment.
Everything isn’t dementia and sometimes a UTI is more than a UTI.
Sorry you and mom are going through this.
There are medications for sundowning, so I would most certainly talk to her doctor about putting her on some of them.
And definitely stay on top of her UTI's as they can turn septic if not treated properly.
And I'll say it again....dementia sucks!
She is on trazadone which the staff thinks is helping but in light of all these calls about dead people, I'm not really sure. Or maybe it would be worse with a lot of agitation along with the conversations? IDK.
I hope the UTIs get sorted out. Sounds like they need to check which antibiotics will work on that bug,
I know this sounds cold, but your mom will get over it.
I took my mom's phone privileges away because she kept calling me all day and night. Dementia and UTI is a rough combination. Lexapro has calmed my mom down too.
Seems your mom may have a difficult to kill strain of E. Coli, a common GI tract organism. If the urine was tested for sensitivity and culture, she is probably getting the right antibiotic. If one was not ordered, ask her doctor for one in 7 days if her symptoms do not clear.
Her confusion is a result of the toxins released by the infection into the bloodstream. It takes time for the body to fight the infection, deal with the toxins, and recover. Since older bodies do not work as effectively younger bodies, it may take a little longer for her mentation to clear. She should go back to the same level of thinking she had prior to her infection.
See All Answers