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I agree you need to go there for about 2 weeks to get anything done. Stay in the house & when she starts saying threatening things or physical threats call 911 right away and tell them she is threatening, is delusional, may have a UTI & won’t allow care. Once she’s transported to ER (take your PoA docs with you) then start working with the medical team to have her moved to their psych wing or unit. Make sure you tell them she is an “unsafe discharge”. Don’t believe any promises to provide help after discharge… they want her out & will not actually help. Been there, done that.
Her alcoholism may add another dimension since she may require a medically supervised detox.
Hopefully your sister is not a co-PoA. She is dysfunctional & an enabler, co-dependent on your Mother. I wish you all the best in getting your Mom the help she needs.
"Don’t believe any promises to provide help after discharge… they want her out & will not actually help. Been there, done that."
Plan on at least 2 weeks, with an open ended flight back home. Do as much as you can before going there--then hit the pavement running.
I'm not in FL and have no idea of their elder laws. COnsulting an elder care atty before you go would not be a bad idea, maybe sis can help with that before you get there.
Good for you, to be able to be the bad guy. Every family needs one.
Hopefully sis will be amenable to the changes and will thank you in the end for stepping up.
Good Luck!!
If mom takes medication tell her she needs to see the doctor before he will refill them. This worked with my daddy. Once you have her in the car take her to the neurologist. Have a talk with the doctor BEFORE she goes in, let him know whats happening. If she goes tot he hospital then DO NOT LET HER COME HOME! Seek assistance from the hospital social worker that should be assigned to you. I would not let my brother come home, he had a friend bring him and within two hours he was back in the hospital. THEN - he agreed to go to a rehab. Via social worker mom should be placed in a facility that can and will assist her needs. You can also try a group home - I know when I used a group home they were better than the nursing facility my daddy was in. Blessings!
An Elder Law Attorney can advise you and sister.
Baker Act mom. Look it up.
Can sis provide phone video of mom’s behavior? Can you? Is sis able to call police if there’s harmful behavior? Police can get the Baker Act ball rolling.
I don’t believe you’d have to be there for this if there’s an ongoing threat. This is a mental illness issue and the Baker Act is there to provide emergency help for those in need. That would be mom and sis.
I’m a former Floridian.
It’s the United Way hotline and if nothing else, it may be easier to get insight before the legalities of getting FL services involved — and if your mom’s not declared incompetent, she would likely make your role as POA hellish or revoke it.
If mom is abusive to your sister, the doctor will need to report this to authorities.
" homehealth" services to help her and this will help sister in meantime while you are assessing the situation and finding placement for her. What if your sister got ill and couldn't supervise support there?
You can tell her it is safety issue for 24/7 care. Have her PCP give you a " level of care needs" assessment so you know if she qualifies for independent, ALF or 24/7 skilled care or maybe memory care placement. You most likely will need to go down there but can do a lot of leg work on phone/ computer.
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