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I am not certain what this whole thing about "Happy-all-the-time" is.
This gentleman has been lucky if he and family can afford YOU. And he has lived long.
I would, if frustrated enough, perhaps ask him to tell you about other times when he was very unhappy with his life, and ask him how he handled his unhappy times.
Generally oldsters love to tell you all about the old days, which are the days they best remember.
Ask him if there's anything you can do for him that might lighten up his day.
And if not, just accept that end of life isn't an especially happy time of life.
As a caregiver, I know that you understand that. It is a time full of losses. I am 82. Some people are more accepting of that by nature; some aren't. He isn't.
At night when we go to bed, I hold her hand and tell her, “You’re in your own home, you’re in your own bed, you’re safe, and I love you.”
Other times I take her for a car ride and she recognizes our home when we arrive.
Hope this helps!
Are you a medical provider / MD / nurse / caregiver?
How you respond depends on your (professional or otherwise) relationship.
If you are a professional and he is your patient, I would presume you know how to interact with him / his behavior.
Without knowing your relationship and what your background is, I would suggest:
1. You ignore him / his commenting in that you do not respond.
2. You say or bring up something else.
3. You expect him to repeat himself.
4. You practice 'reflective listening," i.e., I hear you saying ...
5. Ask him why he hates living by his family. Let him get it out.
However, if he has dementia or is cognitively impaired, then you do not necessarily offer reflective listening. You shift to non-verbal communications such as:
1. Make good eye contact.
2. Hold his hand.
3. Do whatever will keep him calm.
4. Put on music; get books with pictures / photographs that might interest him (flowers, birds, art).
5. Realize that you may have expectations of what he can do and how he can be that he has no control over. You may not be able to re-direct ... although you can look in his eyes and tell him a story ... talk about your own life and what is GOOD in it. Engage him as best you can.
6. Get volunteers to be with him. He may feel very alone, frightened, confused.
You may need to read more about dementia and how best to communicate with someone inflicted. Watch You Tubes. Go to Teepa Snow's website.
Gena / Touch Matters
This is not something a "normal" person does. He seems to be stuck in a loop. If this is your patient then I would make sure to communicate this behavior to his MPoA. This may be a situation where meds may help, assuming he isn't already on them -- and if he is he may be entering another phase and therefore his meds need to be reviewed and adjusted.
If he has dementia, he cannot bring himself to a place of acceptance and peace on his own. This is why meds may help him. 6 to 15 hrs a day seems more like OCD especially since you don't seem able to calm him or redirect his mind.
Wanting to "go home" is a very common dementia behavior. They are not referring to their previous home, but one further back in their memory, often their childhood home or one that represented safety and happiness. If this is happening in the afternoons, this is called Sundowning. You can search this online to learn other strategies to deal with it, or go to this article that can be found on this forum.
https://www.agingcare.com/topics/19/sundowners-syndrome