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But you can document events so that medical staff can see the pattern of behaviour (which no doubt doesn't happen when she is seeing them), and keep all receipts and bank records appertaining to her money. (Particularly if you have POA and are choosing how her money is spent.)
Make sure her money is spent on her care and in a responsible, thoughtful manner. Years from now you will feel great about the job you did caring for her.
That could help you build up a record of what is going on.
I don't think I really answered you, but wanted you to know you aren't alone. I sometimes have to laugh - she told me today we are celebrating Easter next week, and the summer is going well.
There are manipulative people who use ‘old age’ as an excuse. One woman I know is constantly telling people they owe her money. Everyone tells her that they don’t owe her money.
At first it was confusing to all of us. Some people even gave her the twenty dollars she asked for and considered the possibility of them not remembering because she was so convincing.
Oh my gosh, she was gambling with the money. Her daughter gave up on her. She is 80. She just got an atm card so most likely she will go through her checking account. It’s sad.
Her daughter told me that she asks people in the casino how to use her card, giving them her pin and everything. Not good!
They have selective memory! Parents can purposely or unintentionally hurt their kids.
You would be involved and keeping things organized.
If your mother kept any records at all, make copies. It might be a good idea to take those papers and keep them in a safe place. Don’t stress over what your mom says or doesn’t say. Anyone who speaks with her will soon understand her situation.
Pictures of mom with the jewelry on, standing by a coveted object, etc. might be taken.
Next, in lucid moments, ask her to look at one or 2 and dictate her remembrances about the items she remembers. You record her stories digitally, or type up her words.
Print the words below the pictures, or create a powerpoint slide show and embed the videos of her talking. She might still say she never said that, but it might help to calm her down. That panic that sets in when she can't remember has got to be very scary.
Place in a booklet that Mom can look at, read if able, or have read to her.
Same with important people in her life.
PS. play a favorite piece of music while you're working on this with her and while she is looking at the book or slide show.
Music has been known to open up locked memories and happy feelings.
Might be something she used to sing over and over, or a song she and dad would dance to??
I play a play list for Mom of her favorite types of music. She likes to go out on the porch after breakfast and supper and listen to the music and watch the squirrels and birds.
She still forgets things. Like today she said her bedroom hadn't been vacuumed since we moved here a year ago. I think the music helps me more than her, because this didn't upset me, even though I vacuum her room at least the 2nd and 4th Monday. So she's forgetting that noise x 22. And I was able to joke it off.
So I'd recommend music therapy for caregivers and those they are caring for.
Many on this forum have experience with parents having delusions and paranoia and they will provide good insight to you, but there are no easy answers. Does anyone have durable PoA for your mom's medical and finances? If so, who? Your answer may determine your next steps. Blessings!