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I'm trying my best. Mostly. - AgingCare.com.
Sorry my copy paste didn't work but the magnifying glass above will get it coughed up.
ChelsC,
I will add to what I said before to you that guilt isn't appropriate to your situation. The normal aging process takes us into aging and death, and our children and our grandchildren stand witness to our losses. I am 82, and I know this. It would break my heart to think that EITHER my children or my grandchildren thought they were in any way responsible for my care, for caregiving me until my death, or for giving up their own lives to my care. To expect our children and grandchildren to sacrifice their own lives on our funeral pyres is, imho, wrong; today as long as they keep us alive, 100 isn't even unusual; it's a slow burn!
Guilt requires causation. And it requires that the guilty party could easily change things but refuses. That isn't you.
You have made yourself responsible to something that honestly isn't you job or responsibility. And in some ways, at 28, you have become almost agoraphobic I think in your staying in to do caregiving instead of heading out into the deep dark woods of the world to do what the 20s are FOR--getting experiences, learning lessons, getting an education and a job, preparing to take on building your own life and your own family.
I think given that you are having such a hard time with this you should perhaps see a Licensed Social Worker in private counseling practice or a Licensed Psychologist (none of that online nonsense; those "shrinks are paid about 40.00 an hour and overpaid at that).
If anyone is in charge/should be in charge of getting grandmother set up with the best help she can afford with her assets, it would be her own children I would think. Not her grandchildren. I understand you have chosen to take this on................and you at 28 are fully an adult, responsible for your own choices, but I hope you will consider some of the advice you got on your other post to us, and some you will get here.
Thinking of you and wishing the best. Remember, you didn't create these problems; you can't fix them. You aren't God and all his Saints, and that's a tough job description anyway.
You give no more than one month notice to your mother that , you can “ no longer provide the level of care that grandma needs “. Your mother will need to find another option .
Best of luck to you.
Listen to lealonnie . Nothing will change unless you stop helping . Do not let family talk you into “ waiting until a replacement is found “.