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Her concern shows how much she loves him. They’ve been married for a long time.
It’s hard for you. Her anxiety, worry.
At the same time, it’s great to see such pure, deep love.
Have you read “The Happy Prince”? Oscar Wilde. A very short story. Very sweet. Also about pure, deep love.
Can you openly discuss it? and break it to her gently. It's going to be heartache either way, can you say I feel dad will not be with us much longer. There's no avoiding the heartache, just providing a much love as possible from the entire family if there's other people, members of the family to provide support too. If you have a loving family around you to give support it can help to know you are all going through the same. I think just love & compassion from many people as possible.
Blessings.
They are called therapeutic lies or as those of us in my caregivers support group like to call them "fiblets."
So when she asks about your dad, you just say something like....He's still in the hospital recovering, or he had to go to rehab, or he will be home later.
Whatever it takes to keep her calm.
Wishing you peace and comfort in the days ahead.
We went and told her the next day, she stomped her feet, never cried and said "He didn't recognize me yesterday" that was it, she never brought him up again.
See their minds are broken, they do not empathize or feel like the rest of us do. You cannot look at the situation through your eyes, your feelings.
You do not have to tell her either, that is your choice.
I am very sorry about this, take care!
My Dad died 8 yrs before my Mom's dementia was diagnosed. She never talked about him. My sister passed 19 yrs before, she never mentioned her. When she would get paranoid, which was not often, she would blame me and my youngest brother. No mention of my other brother who we in jest called the golden child. As Moms Dementia progressed, I saw no reason to tell her family members died.