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If you want a day of respite, is it possible that you can have someone familiar to him come spend the day so you can go out? Your kids, brother, cousins, a neighbor? Can they try to engage him in games like jeopardy or activities like gardening so he has some fun and a break from the paranoid thoughts?
- if he insists that he can live alone, how about moving him into a studio apartment in an assisted living center? Grant his wish, tell him he should live alone if he'd like. Tell him that he's earned the right to restaurant dining at every meal - often they'll let residents keep food, refrigertors, toasters and coffee makers so he could be some what independent there and not have all meals in the dining room. You could see how that works...
If it were my dad, I'd ensure his car won't operate. Remove the rotor in the distributor cap so that it won't start or take out the spark plugs. This way it will appear okay - just in case he knows something about engines - but it won't run. Of course, if he is really determined to get to Canada - there are always cabs and air planes.. perhaps if you hid his photo ID he'd at least get stopped at the airport.
Two years is a long time to tend to someone with dementia. My cousins did it and they survived 2 intentional fires and numerous responses to 911 calls from grandma. The second fire was the last straw to move grandma to a nursing home. They invited her for pie and coffee but afterward went to the alzhiemers care center. She went in not understanding what would happen but once it came time to leave, it was hard on them all. My cousin cried for two days. They didn't visit for a week either to sort of force grandma to get acquainted. After two months all was well but there is still a twinge of guilt every time they leave after a visit.
Best of luck to you and to your dad.