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We can't make anyone accept anything. They either will or they won't. All you can do is be there for him as it dawns on him that he won't be going home again. You've done a good job as his caregiver, just try to give a little bit more until your dad is reconciled to the fact that he has to stay there.
It's ok to tell him that you can't care for him anymore, that he needs more care than you can provide and you want him to have that.
If he's in a wheelchair no one is going to call him a cab much less make sure he gets into one. But I understand his defiance. I saw my dad behave the same way at one point. The situation wasn't the same but the desperate threats were the same.
You're not responsible for making sure your dad accepts this new life. You can be supportive, be his cheerleader, help him adjust, but ultimately he will have to come to some kind of acceptance on his own, in his own way, in his own time.
So groovy1, you just keep doing what you're doing and stay groovy. ok?!
xo
-SS
Groovy1
Please keep us posted on how you are doing.
Carol
Nobody wanted forty year old couches and fifty year old mattresses. Not even the junk pickers took stuff from the front of her house.
He knew he would not want to leave and it would be harder on him. My dads mind is totally there yet. He is struggling with all of this and is torn between the two because he knows that he is in a very nice nursing home. "It just isn't home." I have the same conversation with him everytime I see him and I try to change the subject as often as I can. He will say well may be I will go home next weekend or don't be surprised if you see me wheeling down the driveway. I just know that I cannot go back to taking care of him at home again. I am his last hope because he knows I am the only one who can make it all happen. Dad will be 90 years old in august. I hope he can find some way to accept this.