By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
I do that for Trust purposes, logging date, phone number, contact person, issues discussed, resolutions and follow-up actions. It's time consuming, but it needs to be done for billing purposes. And it also needs to be done just because I often have trouble remembering the details of some technical conversations.
If you create such a documented log, let her read it whenever she's in the mood to call, and ask if she has any questions that you can answer, inviting her to a discussion. Even if she doesn't understand, hopefully she'll feel a part of the estate plan actions.
I'm wondering specifically if she feels she needs to be a part of this post-death activity, since it was her husband and she may feel she still needs to take care of his affairs. Or she might feel she's being left out of the planning and activity.
Perhaps you could think of ways to bring her into the loop, w/o involving calling.
Or think of calls she can make that help her feel worthwhile but don't require as much involvement as the legal and financial aspects. E.g., assuming you ordered a headstone, she could contact the cemetery and ask about the progress. Or perhaps she could follow up with people who visited and just ask THEM how they're doing, thanking them for their support.
I remember my aunt doing that with the address book. She would get that book and call everyone in it. Some of the stories she would tell would have me very worried and I knew they weren’t true. I told her once, you need to stop telling others you aren’t doing well etc. She told me it made the story more interesting. What! This was years ago.
Today she screens her calls and never calls out.
LilRabbit
I would get her a new phone book of acceptable numbers to call. Or take her existing book and “redact” all no no numbers. Most likely, She won’t remember NOT to call them. Thats asking too much of dementia. Make sure you let the family and friends you leave in the book know of her condition.
And she probably feels his loss more than you do, since she knew him longer, and they were in fact husband and wife. Calling may in fact help her feel that she's participating in estate management, giving her some peace and helping to redirect her thoughts.
What can you do to expand her circle of contacts to provide stimulation and support? Senior Center activities? I'm not criticizing, but I really think a point's being missed that she needs to be involved in something, and to interact with others, especially activities that help refocus her thoughts.