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I am trying to find additional money to help pay for my brother's assisted living bills. He has vascular dementia and Alzheimer's Disease. He also has Major Depressive Disorder. He is medically eligible for Medicaid, but I would have to move him to the skilled nursing portion of his care facility to apply for Medicaid. He would have to move out of his comfortable room into the hospital ward-like beds of skilled care. His clinical depression is eased somewhat by the pleasant surroundings of his assisted living room. If he moves to the clinic-like skilled nursing section, I'm concerned that his depression would increase and his decline from his dementia would only get worse. I am his financial POA, and I need an additional $1,600 a month added to his social security and pension to keep him in his assisted living room. I have been dipping into his savings to pay the current bills, but his money will soon run out. I am 70 years old and retired with health problems of my own and have no assets I can use to pay my brother's bills. I am considering using GoFundMe to do fundraising for my brother. Has anyone gone this route? Any suggestions or opinions? Thanks very much.

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A GoFundMe is not a long term solution to your problem. You'll raise some cash and will maybe be able to keep your brother in his room for a couple more months.
If he's eligible for Medicaid and you are his POA, start looking at different care facilities for him so he won't have to go to the "nursing home" part of the facility he's in now.
If he has Alzheimer's and vascular dementia he should be in a memory care facility. Most of them accept Medicaid.
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Thought of this thread when I saw the GoFundMe for the young man who was caught up in the tornado in his truck in Texas
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The intent of GoFundMe or other crowdfundraisers is to assist to remedy an immediate problem - traveling to dr appts because a family member has cancer, medical expenses for a treatment, dog get hit by car and family can't afford the vet bill, funeral (and funerals can be questionable).

You say you are 70. Assuming most of your friends and family in same age group, how many of them are going to be willing to donate each month to cover 1600 in a housing expense...that brother could get for nothing. Many of your friends (and friends of friends) are in the same predicament at this point in their life. They are running out of money to continue living in AL and have to go to the Medicaid NH bed. AL is for people who have amassed some wealth that will last throughout their life to accommodate the AL facility. Even those with wealth can have health that goes down hill and they need more care than AL will do. Those people end up hiring outside help to do what AL won't do.

I donate to many gofundme accounts based on what I think is reasonable. An example is a family trying to raise $20-25K for a funeral when the story says they left behind small children. The survivng spouse is going to need some financial help ongoing after the funeral to figure out how to survive on one income. The living want the big 'going out' funeral, perhaps as a show of how much they loved their person, however that much money is just going down in the hole with the person they are burying and they will still need help for the living family. It's not necessary to rent the funeral chapel, the family car or other things from the funeral home. Hold the entire service at a church or the cemetery. Only do the basics at the funeral home. The extravaganza funerals, when a family has to learn to live with out the contributions from the deceased, are those I decline. I'm not trying to sound hard hearted at all.

I just don't see you would ever be able to raise 1600 from your friends and family on a monthly basis. Not when many of them are probably running out of money for AL care and having to make the same NH bed move for their own loved ones.

Perhaps you could go talk with the facility to explain your fears. While he may have to move to another area to get the Medicaid bed, perhaps they can keep him engaged with the same activities in the old area. The money for the gofundme will be designated (by your own words when you post it) for your brother's care --- this would be income for your brother. It could raise issues for Medicaid (maybe, maybe not) and a question to ask an atty before you step into that mess.
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Just FYI, you cannot do both, GoFundMe and Medicaid.
I think you may know that.

If you are considering using charity, it may be ethical to spend down his assets before asking for help.

People who would donate might not feel like supporting him in the better room.

Sorry it has come to this, but I think applying for medicaid will keep him with a roof over his head.
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If he’s eligible for Medicaid WHY would you do a go fund me? Don’t you think it’s insulting to expect others to pay for his care so he can be more “ comfortable”? Really ??? His care will be paid for by Medicaid. I just don’t get it . There are people with NO help out there. Sounds selfish but just my opinion.
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Becky04489 Mar 2022
If he's on Medicaid which is publicly funded by taxes, why give to a Go Fund Me so he can have a nicer room. Seems selfish to me too.
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My mom has a retirement coming in at around $2400 per month. Her assisted living/memory care is over $4,000. We pull from her savings and a small inheritance my grandma left to her two years ago to pay the difference which is $1600. I have been paying for my moms incidentals for the last ten years. Toilet paper, shampoo, soap, socks, underwear, haircuts, etc... I did that hoping to preserve moms savings for as long as possible so that she could afford the AL. She will run out of savings later this year. We will need to apply for Medicaid and create a Millers trust with an elder lawyer. She will need to move to a facility that accepts Medicaid. The Millers trust is a way to funnel the money mom does have coming in to the nursing home and Medicaid will hopefully pay the difference. I don't want to move mom from the private pay memory care, but we do not have a choice. I also dread managing the trust and the flaming hoops that I am sure Medicaid will make us jump through.

I feel like a GoFundMe page would not be reliable or consistent to rely upon for his care. I wish I had a better answer for you and for me. He needs to apply to Medicaid.

People think that things get easier as you get older, but they really don't!
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svking: Imho, a crowd sourcing site such as GoFundMe is not going to be your best solution. A myriad of thoughts are possible such as - Perhaps your brother's needs are more than what an assisted living offers, If you go the GoFundMe route, what is to say that the amount contributed by individuals does NOT meet the assisted living bill, if he does apply for Medicaid and you had already done the GoFundMe thing, how is that going to be addressed by Medicaid?, and others. In this day and age when times are quite tight for most individuals, it seems inconsiderate at best to ask strangers to pay for your brother's health care needs since you've already stated that Medicaid is a viable option.
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As a number of people have suggested, your best alternative, unfortunately, is to enroll him in Medicaid for long term nursing care. Keep in mind, when you do, Medicaid only pays for multiple bed rooms. If the facility is older and has an exemption that usually means 3 beds to a room. A newer facility has to meet a higher standard of 100sf per person plus 6sf for storage. Once he's on Medicaid, he could not receive any money from a go fund me source if it went toward his housing, food, or medical expenses; this is illegal. People can only pay expenses that are not in these categories. Also, I doubt you could get people to contribute on an on-going basis even if it were legal. Medicaid pays about $200/day so you'll find the level of service very inadequate. Be prepared to fight everyday to have his needs taken care of. I know - I've been an advocate for my brother in a nursing home paid by Medicaid in California for over 3 years. It's brutal. There are no good alternatives. Good luck.
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Besides being taxable, wouldn't a GoFundMe or similar program interfere with your brother's eligiblity for Medicaid if he needs it? Realistically, you are likely to cover a month or two but not more with solicited donations. I have been asked to contribute to community members in financial trouble. I am happy to help the first time, less so when it happens repeatedly. Meaning you will also lose friends if you go this route.
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Any chance your brother was a veteran during a war?? If so, look into Aid and Attendance thru the VA. It would provide enough funds to keep him at his current facility
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Katefalc Apr 2022
VA aid and attendance is determined by his income and asset amounts. My husband is in a VA medical center now and he’s a viet nam era veteran. We have too much in assets for aid and attendance but we are Medicaid pending
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Using GoFundMe will not provide a consistent income to cover his bills. Please work with social services or case management to get your brother the care he needs under Medicare/Medicaid.
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DO NOT use Gofundme, b/c they are judge & jury to decide who gets the donated money. If they decide, for whatever reason, that your brother 'should not' get whatever funds are donated in his name, then he won't get them. GFM should be shut down entirely b/c they have their own agenda which should not be the way business is conducted on their part, ever, under any circumstances. Here is a list of alternative sites to use:

Fundly.
Bonfire.
Double the Donation.
DonateKindly.
Kickstarter.
IndieGogo.
Classy.
Kickstarter.

I would be very surprised if friends would continue to donate $1600 a month to keep your brother living where he's at indefinitely. Most people have it in them to donate once or twice, and that's it. To think you can keep him there month after month seems like a pipe dream, in my opinion, but it may be worth a try. Don't be surprised if people don't donate to the 'cause', however. Times are very hard right now & most of us can't even afford our OWN lives, never mind to fund someone else's when Medicaid IS an option.

Good luck
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svking- If you do decide to use GoFundMe to find money for your brother, let us know how it goes.

Where I live, there are a lot of panhandlers standing at the center dividers where people wait to make a left turn. If they get one person to give them $1 every traffic light cycle, they probably get $20/hr. So, potentially they can make $100 or more per day, or $3000/month. No wonder they don't want to work.

I also have seen a few women pushing their little kids in strollers, walking up to people in parking lots and asking for money.

And there are a few normal/not homeless people carrying big poster boards with pictures of a sick child and a message saying the kid has cancer and they need money, etc. These people will walk right into the street where cars are waiting at red lights and shove their signs in front of the drivers to ask for money. Whether they actually have a sick kid with cancer, who knows. But these people get a lot of money, $5 or $10 from each donor vs $1 that panhandlers get.

At 70 y.o., svking, I don't recommend you try any of the above.
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Look into care homes, they will sometimes be covered by Medicaid.
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Sounds like your brother will qualify for Medicaid! You are not financially responsible for another adult.

YOU SAID "He is medically eligible for Medicaid, but I would have to move him to the skilled nursing portion of his care facility to apply for Medicaid."

NOW: Ask the facility to place him or get a conservator.
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GiveSendGo is far better than GoFundMe! But that would just be for your immediate need.

I'm not sure where you are from, but many states have funding available to help the disabled and elderly. The best program we have in this area is called IRIS.

They allow the person or trusted family member to direct their own care. They can stay in charge. In fact they can stay in their own home if they want and IRIS will help pay for the care he wants to bring in. But whatever his needs are and where ever he chooses to go they can help financially. They will help pay for caregivers and also things he needs that are not already covered by his insurance.

I pray for you and your brother to find the best and for God to heal you both of whatever problems you may now have. God Bless You!
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PeggySue2020 Mar 2022
I have tried to find this iris you have posted about several times. How about a link.
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There's no way you could get enough to make a dent in the kind of on-going, long-term care he will need. Besides that, Go Fund Me has a reputation for blocking the account so the recipient can't get access to the money if they, for any number of reasons, deem the recipients unworthy. They are NOT a non-profit organization. I will never use them, or contribute to another Go Fund Me account again.
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In our area, as of a couple of years ago, there were no Medicaid only ALF's but there were Medicare / Medicaid ALF's. Not sure about Memory Care. And honestly, I don't know why they would be ok with Medicare / Medicaid, as Medicare does not pay for LTC. Would appreciate anyone who knows, explaining this. It may also help the OP.
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My brother just passed in a skilled nursing center. He was covered by medicaid which left a small allowance $30, from his social security check that went to facility. With multiple childhood disabilities, polio, etc., it took months to be approved after I cashed his life policy, prepaid his funeral, and spent down the funds in bank. If your brother has more than $2,000 total in assets, bank, real estate, whole life insurance, etc., he will not qualify for Medicaid. They can look at records years back. From what you describe, he will not be going home. With alzhimers, depression and dementia, its questionable he can appreciate (or cares about) the difference in surroundings. His assets should be liquidated and utilized for the level of care you think he should have. Then apply for Medicaid when his asset level meets the requirement. My brother had no mental impairment, and I did the best I could with what we had to make him as comfortable as possible, as his multi conditions made bringing him home impossible. My other siblings did not offer assistance. Starting a "Go Fund me" for someone with available fund sources, is improper.
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leese2020 Mar 2022
Agreed.
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A nice try, but why would expect other people to pay for your brother's care when other people need their money for their own and their own family's care?
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How blessed your brother is to have you!
Isn’t it crazy how our society works?! If only you could find an additional $1600 per month, your brother could continue to live in a nice memory care unit. The alternative is to move him to a sterile (hopefully) nursing home and apply for Medicaid to the tune of well over $100,000 per year. This is such a huge struggle that many caregivers face. The availability of supplemental funds to individuals who pay out of pocket for memory care would save taxpayers a lot of money and free up nursing home beds to those who truly require that level of care.

I am wondering if you have contacted your county dept. on aging. In many states, there are some memory care facilities that accept Medicaid. However, there aren’t many. You may want to reach out to find out about other options or even see if there are memory care facilities that are a bit cheaper than your brother’s current placement. Good luck to you!
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If he qualifies for Medicaid you need to move him into a nursing home. My elder attorney advised me to be sure I can self pay several months at a nursing home. That way you can choose the NH. Otherwise if he has no money left but his SS ...good luck in even getting him into one. I took his advise and when my mom only had about $27000 I place her in a NH I was referred to by her Hospice nurse . that paid for 3 months. She then was able to stay there while she was Medicaid pending. I applied for Medicaid when she only had $5000 left. It took Medicaid 5.5 months to approve. She was just approved this past week. They will go back to 11-11-21 and back pay the facility. I know this isn't the ideal decision for you. But sometimes you just have to do what is financially in yours and his best interest. Good luck.❤
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I would start looking for another place that would be suited for him and takes Medicaid after so long of self paying.
many familes
are in the same boat, start looking now and ask the financial questions.
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LMAO george floyd
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God bless you, but now you MUST think of saving that money for YOUR future. He may have to accept a change in living situation and I know that will be tough, but it may have to be.
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I don’t think that’s the answer there are millions of people in the same situation you will need to look at placing him in a more financially affordable place
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If you want to give it a shot, go ahead. It helps if you can also get some kind of media coverage to describe your plight.
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Nokonoko Mar 2022
You mean the plight of many families that are forced to care for an elderly position? The story is not unique or compelling, and funding options exists it is called Medicaid. They are essentially saying their LO is too good for Medicaid and is entitled to “better” quality facility.

That is really going to go over well when they try to spin their story to gain sympathy. Might have a shot if say their LO was 40 or something.
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Thanks to all who responded with helpful information and comments.
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If he is running out of money your only choice is placing him in LTC.
If he has enough for one or months in a nice LTC, get him placed. Then apply for Medicaid. If the facility helps you with the process, keep on top of it. In my State you only have 90 days to spend down and get info needed to the caseworker. With my Mom I started the application process in April. She paid 2 months privately for May and June. I confirmed in June with the caseworker, that Mom was spent down and he had all info needed. Medicaid started July 1st.

Me personally, I do not do GoFundMe. And as said, they are not set up for continued income.
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If you put your request on go fund me, you’d have to put hour name on it thus advertising your biz to the whole world with little likelihood of success.

Think of Medicaid as akin to a big urban public school system. Some schools are stellar but most are on a gradient. Find out, perhaps by even asking his al, what facilities they prefer to work with for transfers, that’ll probably be the better ones.
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