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I know its hard but it sounds like he cannot live alone anymore and if he wont accept homehelp it may be time to thioughto think about a secure facility. Its a very tough time!
If you're the only one caring for your dad, it's kind of your way or the highway if he has any understanding that he needs help from anyone. So he's dependent on you. You want to be the daughter not the nurse and you have your life to live. So if your dad is able to understand any of that, he might be willing to "help you out" to have your own life.
If he doesn't understand any of that, all the more reason to get him into a place where he's taken care of and you don't have to live on pins and needles all of the time wondering what he's doing (or not doing). Hugs to you, because none of this is easy for either of you.
You can always start with a couple of hours of care a day, and gradually build up. And these caregivers are trained in ADL's, so they can help you out very much. I would ask very pointed questions about Alzheimer's and ADL's. But honestly, a good agency will be asking YOU all of these questions!
Sharon