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It sounds to me that they are at the point where you cannot care for them properly. With your mother in the hospital you need to look into a nursing home ASAP and memory care for your father. It is not going to get easier and they are not going to get 'better'. Before long you will be the one who gets sick caring for so many others. Please take care of yourself first,
I'm going to skip addressing your husband's attitude; I think addressing and modifying his attitude is a long term project, and you need answers to the home health care issues now.
Since I've learned about Palliative Care, a step up from Hospice Care, I've thought of a lot of situations in which it could be used. It provides in home or facility support for people with "life limiting" or "chronic conditions." It is not hospice care.
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EDA, 5:23 p.m., after first posting: I've just read on another thread the implication that "life limiting" applied to Hospice. Yesterday when I read up more about Palliative Care, "life limiting" was used in describing it. Since PC as I was told by one of our special doctors is for people with chronic conditions, this description would apply. This was on a government site.
However, Hospice also provides care for people with "life limiting" conditions, but I think that's more of a sense of time, although someone (I think it was AK Daughter) wrote on another thread, hospice no longer requires a 6 month terminal DX.
So I think there's not necessarily a lot of clarification right now on Palliative Care; I didn't even learn about it until about a month ago.
This is just a caution that there is conflicting information, so anyone who reads the posts addressing PC or hospice care is aware of the definitional issues.
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I don't know if AD is included, but it certainly is chronic and life limiting. Ask the hospital social worker and discharge planner about this, but also raise the issue of home care help through Medicare for your mother. Assuming she has Medicare, she could get help (nursing, PT, OT, speech, SW and health aide) for about a month, as a sequel to her recovery.
Not much, I know, but sometimes a little bit helps.
Good luck.