By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
It seems to me that your best bet is to work with the social worker at the facility on next steps. Explain the money/divorce situation and that you have no difficulty with giving up POA and allowing the State to become his guardian.
This is your first rodeo, but she will have seen this situation before and may be your best source of advice and referral.
As noted by others, do not use your funds in this endeavor and remember that some social workers use guilt to try to make relatives think they are personally responsible (you're not). If that is the case, the state ombudsman would be the next call you make to advocate for your loved one.
I'm so sorry you are mired in this awful situation.
Secondly, who is watching out over your father in law and making sure he s being properly cared for? Where is your husband? Does he have any siblings? This is his father.
What do you mean your husband wants to give up POA and you both just want to be done with it? Am I missing something here?
Your husband is going to abandon his father. If there's one thing I've learned in life is to watch how people treat other people. You can expect the same treatment from them eventually. Don't get real sick is all I can say for you with a husband who wants to give up POA for his father and let the state take care of him.
That poor man. I can only imagine his loneliness and hurt. At 93 he's in a nursing home and appears he is alone with no one to care. His wife robbed him and left and his son doesn't want to be bothered it seems. Being a parent is a thankless job. Really a shame this is happening to him.
Is there a nursing home close by you where he an be transferred to? He is elderly and needs help. He should be eligible for Medicaid. It's as easy as applying online for him.
He only gets about $2,000/per month. Medicaid will pay a portion and your father in law will pay the rest. He'll be allowed to keep $105/month which can be used for personal items. I'm sure he could use a haircut , shave, some slippers, shirts, pants, pajamas, etc.
Be well!
2 - You need a ND lawyer that specializes in family law - one that specializes in elder law would be better.
3 - Talk to social services at nursing home - they all have one. Let them know FIL's situation and ask for their help.
4 - Find the elder care board for his state, city, county... whichever one you can find for help. If that doesn't work try AARP and local BBB.
Also, inquire about the POA's duty. It's not really their legal duty to pay the debts with their personal funds, but, only those that of the person who's finances they are managing. An attorney who is well versed in Medicaid should be able to lay out the options.
https://nelf.org/search/custom.asp?id=5427
Also, if you resign as PoA the NH or the county will pursue guardianship over him, and I'm not sure if that will then allow him to qualify for Medicaid. Not sure what happens when some is "abandoned" (and I know you are not really abandoning him). If this happens all assets and properties will then be controlled by the guardian and you won't be privy to any of their actions, nor will you be able to dictate where he is placed for care. You can certainly retain your relationship with him and communicate things to the guardian, you just won't be make any decisions on his behalf. They will inform you when he passes and the county will pay for his cremation. He will not be given a funeral or have a non-cremation burial. You can request his ashes and they will ship it to you. This is how it happened for our family in MN. I'm sorry for your family's distress. May you get resolution and receive peace in your hearts.