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My mother is in hospital at the moment because she fell at home and broke her arm. She has never been a good eater and its always been a struggle to find ways to entice her to eat. Even in hospital, she rarely touches her food, so the doctors keep ordering Resource drinks for her to build her up. Even then, most times she just doesn't drink them. Short of putting her on an IV to feed her, there's not much staff or family can do to make her eat. Sadly, we have to stand by and watch her destroy her physical well-being.
Perhaps your grandma has lost the will to live any longer and she may see her only way out is to the one control she still has at present...to stop eating.
I know in Australia, if I were to admit grandma into hospital then they would hook her up to an IV, but perhaps that's not available where you are. I feel sorry that you have to stand by and watch her fade away. Never a good thing to have to deal with.
I'm still concerned about her broken leg and the fact that she is walking after just six weeks. Takes a good while for a femor to heal 3-6 months in most cases. Looks like she'd be in a great deal of pain!
The stress on me is often enormous, as no other family is available because they live too far away. A daily caregiver does come in to help, but some things being done just do not work out with Mom; I always say that no one is perfect and no perfect match will ever be found. We just pray and try out our best with the available help. Another problem for me is being unemployed for 3 months now. I really need to work full-time to support myself as my parents have been divorced for over 50 years and no one is able to help us/me out. However, once I do find a job, how will I manage to juggle the demands of the job and her care with prescriptions, her required exercise, recordkeeping, meals, mail handling, shopping, etc.? I truly will count on her caregiver to fill in for much of my absense, but again, the help may never be complete in our household. The help is also expensive to pay.
Mom does not want to go into a nursing home; sounds like the constant mix of people may drive her crazy in contrast to our relationship at home. Sometimes I feel I have no choice but to think only about my own life; I am only 56 and have many more years to live and want to work and walk away to have fun without more interruptions!!
PatatHome01
There is also a pill that helps encourage appetite and eating. It takes 7-10 days to kick-in. I learned of it when my mother was placed "temporarily" in a nursing home/rehab center. She also had an eating problem. It started where she wasn't eating as much...to eating very little..to not eating anything. This decline in eating went on for weeks...months. Dementia related, I saw her wither away, losing over 20 pounds in her final 2 weeks. She was on this pill that's suppose to improve appetite, but not long enough for effect, before she passed. So, I can't tell you if it works, but the NH staff said they had had a lot of success with it.
Finally, there is also the option of artificial/assisted feeding or feeding tubes. This can be a controversial method and I would recommend that you investigate the pros and cons on the internet or from a medical professional to answer your questions or concerns.
I wish you and your mother guidance and peace with your decisions.
We can all only help those who want to help themselves and sadly have to stand by and watch them fade.
To answer the broken femur questions, she did have a half hip replacement, she was confined to the bed for 5 days and they then started physio on her. She doesnt remember breaking her femur due to dementia (which is probably a blessing in disguise!) We have tried Ensure but she complains it is too sweet, too thick and has a couple of sips, homemade chicken soup went down one day and the next no thanks. She is drinking water but not eating much and is now very weak. Dont think she has given up on living as she says she wants to eat but feels too ill to.. but not sure?? We will go back to the dr and hope they can help us!!
Good luck.
Your comments explaining what she says or does sounds like the same that I heard my mother say or do: Eating/drinking something today and won't touch it the next..."she says she wants to eat"..."not eating much and is now very weak." The same as my mother.
While you haven't actually noted how long this lack of eating has been going on, it is substantially effecting her if she is weak. The body responds in trying to survive by gathering energy wherever it can. If there is no food, then the body starts to consume body fat and muscle etc. (a further decline) and eventually it reaches the point where the organs start to break down. The car can't continue to operate when it runs out of gas! A point is reached where there is no comeback. It can be sudden and quick.
I know you last wrote that you're returning to the doctor and seeking help. That's good and the right thing to do. But, based on my experience, I want to impress upon you that with dementia you should not let the patient be the primary guide for their care. They do not have consistent, clear, informed understanding or thinking. YOU may/will probably have to make decisions for your mother that she has not given you an opinion or has been inconsistent on her wishes or has given you an opinion that would not be in her best interests.
But, I'll cut to the chase, at the risk of sounding insensitive...if your mother does not get something substantial in her stomach soon...she will die. Doctors and nurses will often times dance around that statement...won't say it or they soften it. Whether or not you tell the patient and whether it will help or harm, is another issue that should be considered. But, because of dementia patients' distorted way of thinking and consuming information, they quite possibly won't comprehend the seriousness of the situation. That is why YOU need to make some decisions and carry them out..because your mother is not her best advocate....IMO.