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If you cannot convince her to move near you, I would communicate as often as you deem necessary with the staff at the facility. No matter how nice the facility is, the patient who has the fewest visitors or interested parties, gets the least attention.
Is there another facility that comes highly recommended in her area? It may just be a matter of finding her better accomodations.
The last option, if you do not have anyone who can visit her on a regular basis, is to hire a paid caregiver who drops in on her once or twice a week as a "family member" and reports back to you. He or she can also help with needs that the staff is not addressing.
It seems like when you approach your 80s so many things go wrong all at once. It has been so much easier dealing with Mom's issues here rather than long distance.
good luck
It would be nice if you could move the three of them closer to you. We have been very happy with the Emeritus Assisted living home here, and there are several in various regions. I hope it all works out well for you. I can't imagine being that far away from a loved one. Please keep us updated.