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As Jeanne said, find comparable care costs in the area and document it. (btw, you are providing one-on-one care which would never happen in an NH).
Of course, you need to be aware of what your Mom can afford and not go beyond what is reasonable. But anything that is related to her care should come from her income. Really, who cares about the absentee bros? Let them come and experience the joys of caregiving firsthand.
If you want to go with the renting option, you can find nice condos or duplexes that are main level and are side by side. That way you can have the space you need and Mom will be close by. Then, her name is on the lease and you can prove that her funds paid for her space.
Geeezzz, I am getting so tired of all of us having to tiptoe around uncaring sibs. When all is said and done, all they want you to do is, "show them the money..." Sad for them, a pain for us!
Do what you think is best for all of you. You have the stress of the job search and move ahead of you. Don't worry about the "nasty brothers."
good luck
BTW - I tried for years to help my Mom make arrangements for her banking and finances but was angrily shut out - despite the fact that I was a paralegal who had done such for others. Mom was a 'peculiarly paranoid" individual before sheever got sick, and as a result had no friends or family members left who cared. Only my oldest daughter and myself stayed in touch. And It was only because of old neighbors and good connections that we were able to get the POA done before she was diagnosed ith Alzheimer's!
If I had to do it again I would INSIST early on that all these steps be taken, all the desires and needs made clear or I'd stubbornly refuse to have anything to do with her. Of course with my mom that would have made no difference. But those with rational parents who expect they will be left to handle these things should put your foot down while there is still time.
person that comes to comfort and enjoy good times I am welcomed with open arms. " I got MY MOM back!" Like a miracle I am her baby once again. The Mom you know is still in there. I have seen my mother go from completely delusional and confused to being aware of her surroundings and confortable and not stressed. She is still confused but with a routine and stable enviroment she feels a sense of control. Try to stay focused on what is best for everyone involved. Your health is important too. A person is financial responsable for themselves what ever you decide you don't have to pay for anyone else to live but as POA you have to make sure you do things for her benefit and should document everything you do or have done for future references. Good Luck!!!
"There is a cost of living expense allowed by law for your Mom's room and board and 24/7 care. You should find out these amounts. It's $335.00 a day for my county/state."