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Hi everyone and thanks for your replies.

The facility has a rule that if you complain YOU have to be the one that has to move. I dont want to move my mom, the room is good. I am hoping the facility will move the new person, I will keep carefully asking.

it took me going through my mom being discharged from a previous facility to learn that I dont want that to happen again. It was very hard to find another. Nursing homes have waiting lists to get in. So I try to be so careful about confrontations with management. It is hard but I am trying to be very polite.

I also have seen over the years how medicines dont always work as well as you hope on different people. They dont want to/arent allowed by law to drug people to the point where they are sleeping all the time.

the right to a normal noise level is ambiguous wording, and not enforceable. The difference between a private room is hundreds of dollars more a day!

i pray my mom will pass in her sleep one day and be free of all this.

bless us all!
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Reply to Tryinghard1
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AlvaDeer Nov 16, 2024
Trying, I agree with you.
Much depends on your approach.
If you go begging and pleading and crying to the admins you have a MUCH BETTER CHANCE, in all truth. If you say "Please, this is months now. I understand all your limitations in dealing with this and you have my DEEPEST sympathy, but it's so bad I pray my mom will pass to be protected. I understand you can only do what you can do, but please, please please"....................you will have a better chance than demands. Because I agree with you that the answer will be "You would be happier somewhere else" which we can translate to "Get the heck out of Dodge if you don't like it".
I DO sympathize with their limitations. I see you do as well.
And yes, like so many more you will come to sign hugely with relief when your mom is finished with what now is really a crucible to live through, not real life.
I am so sorry.
I think you always understood there's really no way out of this.
I would go a begging, myself. I would try that and know I had tried it all.
There isn't any fix here. I say over and over this is a very imperfect world with end of life care.
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IMO, this woman needs as much meds as they can give her. Her shouting like this is not good for her or Mom. The woman needs a Phychic Hospital where meds will be tried out just to find the right one. I don't think a doctor at a NH has this kind of expertise.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Considering how common the problem actually is, it would be good if the requirements for a (at least new) facility included a separated section that could be used for ‘help helpers’ without disturbing others. Any clues about how to advance this idea?
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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This would be intolerable for anyone. Your mother has rights too. Imagine how she must feel. I would make a massive fuss until they move the other woman / move your mother to a room where she will have peace.
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