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Hello. We are looking for recommendations for a watch style tracker that works either independently or with a phone. My MIL is very mobile and fully ambulatory, with frontal lobe dementia. She wants her independence as much as possible. She just started in memory care, but she may be moved to assisted living because of her independence and strong physical state. We are concerned that she may slip away during group outings or even with us - she is quite sly. She escaped from the previous place by constantly watching the door and then made her move! She no longer has a cell phone because she never used it and she used her land phone to constantly call the police, Sheriff, county jail, and directory assistance. We would consider getting her another phone and either install a program, or get a watch device that coordinates with the phone. We tried a button device before but it was a struggle to get her to charge it. I think a wearable watch would be better. Any recommendations are greatly appreciated.

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Sorry, your MIL needs to stay in Memory care. An AL cannot guarantee her safety. They should not have to worry about her "escaping" and having to go after her. She may want her independence but she has a Dementia where she should be kept in a locked down facility. She is no longer able to make informed decisions. Just because she wants something doesn't mean she should have it. Think of her as a small child. Yes they want, but we as parents have to keep them safe. IMO FLD is one of the worst of tge Denentias. People suffering from it can be violent especially when they don't get their own way. When u take her on outings, just like a child you have to be with her at all times. Do not get her another phone since she abused the last one.

Dementia is very unpredictable and you are better not expecting your MIL to "know" certain things. And thinking she should be allowed any type of freedom. From what you have written, she is pretty much into her Dementia and it will not get better. I think what she may need is a medication for anxiety.

Its no longer what MIL wants but what she needs.
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If she's a wanderer, then staying in MC is warranted. Mobility and independence have noting to do with her need for MC.

If her MC can't handle various levels of ability, then she needs to be in one that can, but not AL.
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There is no way I would move her from MC to AL.
No matter what type of tracker you look at there will be way that she will thwart it. (short of implanting a chip in her.)
You can get ones that will go in a shoe. She can remove shoes, or wander out at night. there are necklaces, bracelets all can be left behind or removed at any time.
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"She wants her independence as much as possible".

Sadly, FTL Dementia has stolen much of that ☹️

She may however be able to roam independently in MC. Inside & outside (if a locked garden) or with supervision.

I think that's the key: if the boudaries/perimeter is set - is a good fit for their level of ability - a person can be independant WITHIN that area.

Eg Young children safe in their kindergarten playground with their Teacher to supervise.

However, letting those pre-schoolers loose in a big multi aged school ground would increase risk to them & add much stress to their caregivers.

I've written this many times on many threads.. my neighbour's Mother wandered one night. Maybe she rattled the door handle every night..? Only that one night she succeeded. Her freedom so short lived. Hit by on the main road. #family guilt
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Renee3M Apr 2023
Thank you for your insightful answer. Yes, she needs to learn the new boundaries for her independence. It is a new situation for all of us. When she goes out on the excursions, she will have an assigned person with her, like the teacher.
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My step-mother is in MC, also has FTD just where she needs to be. Her physical health is good. She roams around the halls and goes into the outside fenced in area, looking for rocks & sticks. The staff also has walks for ppl like her, the roamers. She did escape once, the first day in fact, while we were TT the Administrator. No one knew her, she always carries her purse, so she just followed someone else out of lockdown, she was found in the AL part of the home.

First, she was in AL, we had to move her as she was going outside and walking around, diving in dumpsters for treasures to bring back to her room. When we moved her she had over 200 shells, 50 sticks, lots of rocks and dead flowers, not to mention her treasures from the dumpsters.

Perhaps you need to look for another place for mom, one that has outside access of some type, honestly I wouldn't move her back to AL, she will escape and with FTD she could take a downward spiral at any time. My step-mother did.

Sending support your way.
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Renee3M Apr 2023
Thanks so much for the support. It helps to have points of comparison. My father in law was a "junk man" -we called him Fred Sanford - and liked to bring home junk. After his passing, my mother in law started doing the same. She had a cart she would push up and down the street, and collect things. Oh boy!

An another note, there is outside access in MC - an interior courtyard. It has only been a few days, but I heard that she was utterly surprised when they took her there on the first day- she didn't know she was allowed to go outside. Last we hear, she had requested potato chips, was sippin on a Coke, and listening to music. Not a bad life!
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Thank you all for your answers. Looks like the tracker is not going to be a viable option right now! In her defense, my mother in law is not an idle wanderer. She wants to go out to her own doctors and because this facility is much closer to them, they can take her. I will have to trust their professional abilities in keeping her safe. She was going stir crazy in the previous place because they had no activities and allowed her to sit in one place the whole day. When she goes on an outing with the new facility, a staff member will be assigned to her. Overall, her memory has not been severely impacted and she is at a higher cognitive level than a typical memory care resident. Her issues are lack of judgement and insight, with delusions and paranoia. We do have guardianship. We are fully prepared to keep her in the memory care section, which is a lovely, separate building and entrance, but realize that with the right professional oversight, she may be able to move to their AL. Only time will tell (she has been there three days!)- there is a process for acclimating the residents in her situation to the "step up" of AL. More than one facility wanted to put her in this "intermediate unit" and then transition her because that is how she presents. IF she does go, we would pay for an aid as necessary when she goes off premises.
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What about an air tag attached to her shoes?
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Independence, wandering, and dementia are not a compatible combination. If the button device did not work before, neither would be any wearable as wearables do have to be worn, and they need to be put on a charger nearly every night.

My suggestion is to find a place where the living quarters are inside a much larger fenced area. I visited a place that had 3 houses plus 1 common use house, that together, were inside a single, completely fenced area. If the reason why she escapes is just to "not" be around people, something like this could work. However, if she escapes for the "thrill" of the escape, she needs to be in a locked down area.
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