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You don't wish to cut contact because you wish to assist your Aunt.
Your mother's behavior is not "normal". It may be caused by life-long mental illness or it may be caused by the mental changed that come with dementia.
It is imperative that you protect yourself, both legally and psychologically from her onslaughts.
Finding a therapist who can show you how to do this is your primary task right now.
My main issue is my mom is taking away my autonomy and independance and keeping me from finding my true love
In reality, that is NOT the case and I have chosen to stay complacent by scapegoating my mom when I really need to learn and master the practice of manifestation in order to reach my goals!
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/how-should-i-deal-with-false-accusations-from-a-mentally-fit-mean-mom-477399.htm
As I remember, you have the ability too stay away. As you say in the above post, Mom is evil. Stay away, protect yourself. I am sure if she was not your mother you would be walking the other way. Let brother take care of her since he is the golden child.
Some people will never, ever have class no matter what. They're determined to cause pain.
Prayers for you to protect yourself against her hate.