By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
2) Preserve your marriage. Start looking for a new residence for your mother where she can get 24/7 care from an entire staff. If your "entire day is devoted to her care ", this is too much for one person .
3) Thank your husband .
4) when Mom gets placed, you and hubby go on a trip, get your life back.
He needs to go like yesterday.
You and hubby need to have a united front when you approach your brother about the fact that he has to be out by the end of the month, and that he is only allowed to come visit when he is sober(which means he won't ever be coming). Period. End of sentence.
And once you get that problem out of your house, you probably will want to start looking into assisted living facilities for your mom, where she will get the help she requires and be around people her own age, and you and hubby can get on with living and enjoying your life without all this undo stress.
That will solve both your problems in short order.
Best wishes.
Also if he stays long enough to get his mail at your address then your home becomes his legal residence. Same for your Mom. Maybe consider getting her a PO Box until she is placed, or have all her mail come addressed to you, not her.
I agree with all other advice about placing your Mom, thanking your long-suffering husband and then taking a vacation.
B) I am very sorry that you didn't recognize while your mother was in rehab and had social workers and discharge planners available to arrange in facility care, that this was necessary.
Now you do realize it.
Let mother know that she will have to be moved into care.
Assess assets and choose a facility and place your mother.
Basically I believe you know what has to be done.
It is simply a matter of doing it.
I had my mom living with us. Mom wanted me to invite him to move into our guest bedroom.
I told Mom that he was her son, not mine and that he couldn’t live with us.
My brother was mad. My mom got upset. I told her that I was not going to expose our children to my brother’s behavior. I loved him as my brother but I couldn’t allow him to disrupt our lives.
Mom hated that he became homeless but understood how I felt and never asked me to allow him to move in again.
He was a great guy when he was clean but for various reasons he struggled to live in recovery.
I had to distance myself from my brother for my own sanity. I didn’t see him again until he was dying. I took my mother to see him to say goodbye to him.
I was no longer angry. Most of all, I felt sad about him losing everything meaningful in his life, his family, his wife, his children, his business, friends and finally his own life.
Take back your home. It belongs to you. Your brother doesn’t belong there.
Wishing you peace as you plan your next step to restore balance in your life.
Give brother 1 month notice to move out. Change the locks after 1 month.