By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
I know this is all difficult for you but you have to be strong and remember “This Too Shall Pass”. Here is a song for you; click on the link or copy and paste it in your browser and listen to these words of comfort by Yolanda Adams. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgnfqI2fP7s. GOD BLESS YOU!
I have two things to suggest. One, do you and your mom spend time together without him? Do you go out to dinner together? Go shopping or see a movie...just you and your mom...and "get away". Making a special effort to give her and your relationship attention may help. But, I think it would be short term.
Secondly, it sounds to me like it's time to consider moving your dad from the home to a facility where he can receive care. This will take the load off of you. You can also spend more time with your mom. Plus, the cause of hostility will be out of the house, where your mother lives and observes. Remember, it's her house too. It's her life too. You and she can visit him as often and as long as you like. But, then you and your mom can get away from the things that irk her.
In my situation, my dad's demeanor changed for the better when my mom was hospitalized and then was in rehab...taking her out of the house for about a month. He visited her and spent hours with her each day. But, he knew there was an escape from the burden of caring for her and he could sleep. It gave him hope of having a good day himself.
Don't know if you have considered a facility...either temporarily or permanently...or what your thoughts are on that issue. But, I think it may be best for everyone involved. Good luck and I hope your family finds peace.
My parents were living in a volatile situation until fate stepped in and my father was in the hospital, rehab. and subsequently passed away a short time later. I don't know how your father feels about being away from your mother, but for my father it was an opportunity to have "real peace" - it was the most peaceful I had seen him in a long time.
Facilities can offer care and a place to rest. Ultimately, staying in one's home is what most people want; but when health is failing, a facility can be a good alternative. And you can monitor the care. Take care and will keep you in my prayers.
Also, you say your mom has had some mini strokes. Do you think she could also be dealing with some dementia. Do you think the stress of your father's illness and her sleep deprivation have contributed to her mini strokes?
You are obviously pro-active in trying to keep peace and understanding in the household. Take care and keep posted.
Bert Cave, Support For Home