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My Mom works herself into a frenzy hours before she needs to leave the house, I have stopped telling her about upcoming events and appts.. She lives with me so I can let her know that day and make sure I give her sufficient time to get ready.
I have now had two years of experience with a 95 year old mother who has very mild dementia. I just don't tell her. She would just drive me crazy prior to any appointment. It took a while to figure it out, but I do not tell her anything in advance.
Good luck!
If I tell him that we have a lunch date with one of the children, in two days, he begins to lay out his shirt and asks if his pants are OK for this date. I also do not inform him until about three hours before the due time of the lunch date..
It must be pretty common for these afflicted folks..I like the calendar idea - will try that!
Anyway, the calendar idea is good. I do that. Even better is to write upcoming events on a whiteboard, then just say look at the board AND the calendar. I also try not to tell him in advance about upcoming events or I will be asked about it all week or weeks...over and over and over. HIQEVER, sometimes I do want to tell him in advance IF the particular event is hinging on hope--meaning it is an appointment that will actually allay his considerable anxiety over something he is afraid will or won't happen.
Hope this helps!
GA, you're absolutely right about the checking and needing to reassure oneself too - with me it can be getting out of bed twice over to make sure I've turned the heating down (when I have). Oh Lord, are we saying that just because you're demented it doesn't mean you can't have ocd too…?!!!
I am going to learn to meditate properly or I will be taking after my mother before my time.
Thank you for the WalMart idea KDCM - we've got an Asda not far away, which WM owns, so maybe they can help.
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