My mother's estate has not gone through probate and the co-executor has given away her money and jewelry. What can I do about this?

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My mother's estate has not gone through probate and the co-executor has given away her money and jewelry. What can I do about this?

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My mother passed away two weeks ago. I am a co-executor as well. Mother's well doesn't mention any of the gifts he has made. He says mother told him to do it. The money and jewelry all went to his old girl friends and people that work for him now or use to. Mother never told me about these gifts and we talked about everything right up to her death. I saw this co-executor nearly every day for the last 8 months when mother was in and out of the hospital and he never mentioned any of this to me either until he says the gifts were all made. There is nothing in writing that I know of either. Mother's will was really simple. All of her property was to be split evenly between my brother, my son, and my self.

Elder Law

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Ah yes, The Stuff! It's amazing the amount of squabbling that can happen over The Stuff. I find myself in a somewhat unique position in that I never have cared much about the stuff. I think it's partially because my son is severly disabled and my only child / I have no one to pass family heirloom down to. My mother put in her will that I was to get her jewelry but mom had very little jewelry of value and all but her wedding ring - she has already given me over the years. When my dad passed I took his wedding ring - mom didn't want it and since daddy had never taken it off in 62 years, it was something that makes me feel his presence- I wear it on my right hand. Also there was an award winning photo- large and nicely framed of my father taken in the early 1950's, atop Mt. Hood at sunrise, daddy in profile silhouette, wearing full mountaineer garb. It's a stunningly beautiful photo and everyone wanted it. Unbeknownst to me, my father had written on the back of it, twenty years ago - that I was to have it upon his death. It has amazing sentimental value to me and after making sure my hubby and son were out, it is the thing I would grab to take out in the case of a fire. Soooo - my point? Before making an issue of this with your brother - ask yourself why you want the stuff back. If it's because it has great sentimental value to you or it's something you'd like to see handed down to your son - go for it. Get an attorney to send a letter to your brother saving if the items aren't returned it will be considered theft. Also - perhaps there is a way to hold brothers final inheritance until the things are returned - that ought to do it, right? But if you want the stuff back because brother over-stepped, didn't have the authority or other reasons along those lines - let it go. In the end will pursuing The Stuff be worth all the hard feelings it's likely to create?

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Please clarify- you mentioned one woman returned an item and go on to say "his" jewelry is being held by your mothers attorney. Who is "he"? The coexecutor? If "he" is not your brother, why is it "his" jewelry? And if it is not your brother, even if the coexecutor was a close friend of your mothers, why would your mom want pieces of her jewelry given to his friends - what is the connection of his lady friends to your mom - that he could offer any plausible reason that your mom would want these ladies to have her jewelry? What is he saying about that? There has to be more to it for this to make even the slightest bit of sense.

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The brother should be asked to return the assets and distribute things in accordance with what is written in the will. An executor is bound by the will itself and cannot use his imagination about what to do with the assets.

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Is this jewellery incredibly valuable? Does in make up a large portion of the value of the estate? Unless the answer is yes to both I really think you are being a little overly obsessive about this. If the items are valuable then I suppose the easiest way to deal with it is to subtract the value from the inheritance payed out to the misguided brother.
Lots of people make bequests that they don't formally include in their wills. Sometimes it can be as simple as telling someone that they may have an item "someday", often for as little a reason as they admired it. Sometimes people laboriously label every knickknack with the intended recipient's name. And sometimes families squabble over every penny, switching labels and hauling off truckloads of possessions they haven't any use for just to keep someone else from having it.

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Whether fraud has been committed depends on the terms and specific bequests of the will. The friend's action may rise to the level of breach of fiduciary capacity though. Raise that with the attorney tomorrow.

Regardless, I think this person has acted in very poor taste and you deserve an explanation. The two of you should be working together; that other person needs to recognize that and get on board and learn how to work as a team.

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Brother, based on your last post, I think giving away that much of the estate, IF the last expenses haven't been settled, and IF the heirs haven't received their shares, would be fiduciary mismanagement. Definitely raise this with the attorney as soon as you meet with her or him.

I also have the same question as RM - how did this person gain access to such valuable jewelry? I would think they would have been locked in a safe in your mother's home, or in a safety deposit box. And how did you become aware of these acts, how long have you known about it, and what have you done to stop him? Have you considered an injunction?

Something's amiss here.

Mulatta, aw, shucks! I'm just sharing what I learned over the years.

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Actually a will has to be executed according to the terms of the will. Your mother could have told him that to get their inheritance all the children had to wear yellow frocks down town but unless it is in the will it aint gonna happen (frivolous I know but you get my drift).

The issue of the jewellery is probably not about the value of it - it may have a substantial emotional attachment - a cheap locket with hair of your only child may have great significance to you but not to anyone else whereas a diamond held in a bank may have considerable monetary value and may have no emotional tie at all.

And that is why the terms of the will have to be adhered to UNLESS SHE HAD IT WRITTEN AS A CODICIL, in which case it becomes part of the will I suggest you google probate for dummies where it explains that as GA said that as part of the probate process expenses have to be handled first before distribution of assets

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The more I think about this the more I think a piece of the story is missing. How did the co-executor get his hands on the jewelry to give away - the same holds true for your moms money. Did he have his name on her bank accounts? Banks won't release money in the case of death otherwise- they need probate information before they will hand over the cash. Also - you said you saw him nearly everyday for eight months as your mom was in/out of the hospital. That seems a little unusual for just a friend. What's up?

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A successful businessman who drinks and passes out in a stupor daily?

Hmmmm.....I smell rolls baking in the oven.

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RM, you raise an issue that hasn't been discussed this far...the apparent consistent contact between the two co-executors, with no discussion of the OP's role, how the responsibilities were split, and similar issues.

My mother's estate has not gone through probate and the co-executor has given away her money and jewelry. What can I do about this?

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