By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
You need to leave it all to them. It's sad, but some people can't be helped. This is one of those times. It's not your circus, not your monkeys. I hope you can disengage and let it play out as they apparently wish it to go. However, if you have clear evidence that MIL is being neglected, you should report it to APS and let them deal with it.
There are people who love to complain, you suggest, they have an excuse why this can't be done. If she comes to you asking for advice, give it. If she is just compaining, ask do you want suggestions? If not, I don't have time to listen to you complain. I can tell u how to make ur life easier but u don't seem to want the info. And the daughter, about time she learns to drive. Is Mom planning on driving her to her job?
Believe me, your life will be easier if u don't worry about other peoples. I have a 30 yr old grandson who has gone thru alot in the last 10 yrs. He had brain surgery for epilepsy. 3 yrs later he is still weaning off meds. Because of this, he can't take ADHD meds. He did something impulsively that effected his roommate, his Aunt. She has chosen to get her own place and he now has to get his own in the next 2 months. We have all helped him thru his ordeal. Now, time to be on his own. He now can drive, has a good paying job and should be able to find a 1 br apt. Time to grow up.
I'm not sure where your brother is in all this or how your SIL is the sole adult taking care of MIL. But I assume he is out of the picture.
It is surely very distressing, but as others have said, I would try to take your focus off what you cannot control. Best wishes.
You have given her support in the form of educational information.
You have offered support and help in other ways.
She does not want to accept the help that you have offered.
There is not much more you can do.
If she complains...don't get sucked in.
Just say "I'm sorry you are having a difficult time with MIL"
I don't understand what you don't understand about that.
What you are doing is unasked for and intrusive.
Some people feel the need to continue to try and help others after they have made it abundantly clear that they are not interested in receiving help from them.
I too feel that a person should back off when a person asks them to refrain from helping them. It is intrusive to force the issue.
They shouldn’t continually complain about others not wanting their help.
They should respect their requests and save themselves from the stress, frustration and headaches that are associated with the situation.
In your profile you state that you care for your mom. Focus your caregiving on her. Let your SIL deal with her issues with her mom.
Hopefully, one day your SIL will figure out that the best solution for her issues are to place her mom in a facility.