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Many seniors will object to assisted living (AL) because they don't want to leave their homes and because they believe AL is too expensive. AL is expensive, but so is staying in a home. Homes have to be maintained. Taxes and insurance have to be paid. Utility and food bills are expensive. If people did the math, they would often find that AL doesn't cost much more than they are already spending. AL gives the freedom to enjoy time, instead of worrying about the work and maintenance of a house.
If you were to move in, it would really be AL, but you would be the person providing the assistance. I help with two parents, and believe me, it is a time-consuming thing. I work at home, so I can do it, but most people couldn't. Sometimes I laugh at how my day goes. I've adopted a motto of "one more thing," because when I think I'm finished for the day, I remember a few more things I need to do. My whole day is spent doing one more thing. The bad thing is that at the end of the day I feel I didn't accomplish anything, but the whole day is gone. Doing things for three people is like that.
I would definitely look into AL when you believe your parents need it. And don't feel guilty about it. You'll be taking care of them and you.
While they are not speaking to you I guess they are going to have to come up with other solutions for themselves. That might not be all bad.
Certainly you don't want to go the rest of your life alienated from your parents. I hope you will eventually be able to establish a cordial relationship, but not at the expense of losing yourself and giving in to their unreasonable demands. It sounds like you had some solutions in mind. Perhaps some of those solutions will look more attractive to your parents if they see that having you move in is absolutely not an option. If they finally accept that they cannot have their first choice (no matter how much they pout and hold their breath), perhaps they will look at the other choices more objectively.
Good luck ... and don't weaken!