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https://www.agingcare.com/questions/idk-what-to-do-i-have-a-tumor-in-my-adrenal-gland-n-i-have-just-been-able-to-start-saving-moms-money-448962.htm?orderby=oldest
Tomorrow, you need to call someone, whether it’s your local Area Agency on Aging or even Adult Protective Services. I have discovered recently that APS is not all about sending people out to investigate abuse and neglect. They also have caseworkers who work with other agencies to help out people in need.
If this only happens around your Mom, then Mom is triggering the stress. As others have mentioned, see your family doctor. If the doctor recommends meds to help with the stress, don't say no like I did. If only I had listened to my family doctor, I probably wouldn't have crashed and burned from all the stress. Talk therapy also helped, but wasn't the cure all.
My elderly parents, especially my Mom, stressed me out big time. One time I fell and broke my arm, thus couldn't drive for a couple of months as I couldn't even put in the key to start the car, or shift gears. Of course, my parents said "who's going to drive us" :P
I got to the point of severe neck pain. It was so bad, I could not even turn my head. At that time I was having a very difficult time mentally coping with my son’s drug addiction.
I visited my doctor who recommended a neurologist. The neurologist did a bunch of tests and injected the muscles in my neck. He also did a procedure called needling, where he twists the needle in the muscle (yes, it hurt like heck!) to bring back blood flow.
He also recommended that I read a book on how you can alleviate pain. (I’ll try to get the name of it.) The book said that, in times of severe mental distress, your brain will take blood away from a specific area, such as your back or neck and cause pain there. This was a crazy concept but they said that you can tell your brain to stop doing this. YOU (not your brain) have control over your pain and other symptoms. I thought what the heck, I’ll do it. It worked! I felt foolish telling myself, my own brain, to stop creating pain in my neck. I could not believe that my brain would act without me knowing it.
I would wonder if this is what’s happening to you since you say you ONLY get these symptoms when in the presence of your mother.
I would visit a medical doctor to rule out any medical problem. But I also would recommend a therapist to see if these symptoms can be controlled by therapy.