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I am a little worried that you are marrying your money and hers. Her account is her account and should have a financial power of attorney managing it, keeping careful records, and things in that account belonging only to her, and spent only on her. I think I would get a little good financial advice about this.
Like said, there is some misinformation here.
Most of us know, for Medicaid to be involved the recipient is actually poor. All assets, except a car and home, have to be liqidated and spent down. Spend down can include a prepaid funeral and paying privately for LTC applying for Medicaid when funds are depleted. It depends on the state but 2k seems to be what is finally allowed in the persons bank acct. Any bank account with the recipients name on it may be considered their money. There is no reason once a person is on Medicaid, that any money should be going into their bank account. The 2k allowed is to be used on the recipient. And u better have a good reason to use it.
I just don't see how Medicaid is paying for this person's care and that their SS and pension are not being paid to the NH. Personally I had NH made payee for both Moms SS and pension. One less thing I had to worry about.
You can not use any of her money for anything or anyone besides her.
You can use it for clothes, eye glasses, hearing aids, dentures, medical supplies or bills, supplements, buying her food or drinks that she enjoys, hair salon, nails, shoes, etc but you will get her Medicaid messed up if any of it is spent for you.
As long as you don't cut her short.
Doing so could cost them their elders Medicaid coverage.
Having a joint account that only receives the elders money for deposit doesn't make it anyone's money except the elders. Sharing an account is a really bad idea when Medicaid is involved. Better to be payable on death and handle all banking online.
If your mom is in a facility in AL, LTC or MC she can have funds deposited into the resident trust account to pay for miscellaneous services (like hair care, nails, gift shop, etc). Or you can consider using it towards a pre-paid funeral expenses for her. Or any other medical needs that are not covered by Medicaid. Just make sure there is a clear paper trail (like do it through her bank's BillPay).
Sometimes there is a lag between the recipient's ss funds deposit and the withdrawal from Medicaid, so maybe call the phone number on her Medicaid paperwork to confirm.
I can't speak to how it works if she's not in a facility yet. But do call their office first.
No you can't spend it. Its not your money. It has to be spent on Mom. Are you sure you r not suppose to be paying the facility Moms SS and pension?