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You can't let the person with dementia drive the bus.
I'm sure it would of been helpful if the foot doctor in her facility looked at it. My mom would of done the same thing.
Id say a podiatrist. Good luck
Now we are stuck where she has three appointments next week, and I'm a bit scared my knees will give out before we can get through it (severe knee issues) - I have to carefully space out doing things that will tax my knees. But I wanted to get her in as soon as possible to have her feet looked at, as she's in a lot of pain and I'm afraid will be more likely to fall (she already falls often). So I took the sooner podiatrist appointment rather than waiting another week, fingers crossed it works out!
Additionally ask about Telemed appointments for follow up. Much easier.
The podiatrist that comes to my aunts facility told me he visits NHs in the afternoons and does surgeries in the mornings. I would get the name of the one who visits her facility and make a few phone calls.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.
I don't know if the one who goes to her facility even goes to patients rooms; we were told he sets up shop in the hair salon and you have to go to him. And she absolutely refuses to go to him, sadly. If he just popped into her room and said he wanted to look at her feet, I know she'd let him, but that's not how it works. And in this case, I'm not sure he'd do the followup visits on someone else's surgery.
As to the foot soaking, I don't know if the staff at her AL facility would help with that or not, but it would require her asking, and she refuses to ask for help. Never did before dementia, either, you just had to guess what she wanted and if you didn't she got mad. So that's not gonna happen. If she tells us next time she's having pain, we'll tell her to ask for one of her "as needed" pain pills - but since she has to ask, she probably won't ask. I've tried asking the nurse or med techs to administer an as-needed med for her, and they make it pretty hard - they just tell me to tell her to ask for it, and I'm like that's the problem, she won't ask. Can you please do it with me asking? They have a couple of times, but it's always a struggle.
I’m glad you had someone check her feet.
Please call for home health for your MIL. I hate to be a broken record but that could make both your MIL and your life easier. Call her primary, let him/her know what the podiatrist recommended and the other issues MIL has. She doesn’t sound like she can advocate for herself.
The home health can keep an eye on her feet as well as her overall health.
Now that you know that MIL is not a candidate for surgery, perhaps you can get her seen by the onsite podiatrist for regular foot care.
We all know each person needs an advocate when they are in care. If that is you for your MIL know that the home health will help you if you can get them coming in to check on MIL care. This will enable her to stay in an ALF longer rather than having to advance to higher care.
Wishing you both the best.