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If she isn’t physically moving a lot . You could try to trim it with medical bandage scissors . They have a rounded blunt end , safer if you poke her with it , won’t cut her .
Please do not shave or cut it too short because the itching will make her uncomfortable for days on end.
You don't shave or cut it at all. You wash her up with soap and water every time she craps her diaper.
Even if she doesn't have a BM that day, she should still be getting a head-to-toe bedbath every single day. When she pees and her diaper is being changed, she should be wiped down thoroughly with pre-moistened wipes to remove urine left behind on her skin and pubic hair. This is proper hygiene care for an incontinent person and especially for a bedbound invalid. No bedridden person should ever have any kind of deodorant applied to any part of their body either. You treat their skin the same as you'd treat a baby. In fact, it's a good idea to use baby products too.
No part of hygiene care for an elderly or bedbound person ever involves trimming, waxing, shaving, or using some depilatory chemical to remove a person's pubic hair. This type of hair removal is not part of daily hygiene care. This is surgical, pre-op care.
If the doctor advises an elderly, bedbound person's pubic hair be removed or trimmed, they will send a nurse to do this. Although, I have never heard of this happening over my 25 years as an in-home caregiver.
I personally would have drawn a *** hard *** line at giving my mom a "trim" there, but that's me.
If she's that uncooperative, maybe you need to re-think this. Is it really worth it to put BOTH of you through something like this? Is it something necessary to either make her more comfortable, or your job as caregiver easier? If the answer to both questions is no, I would consider letting it go.
Back in the day , working in nursing homes , I was slapped , hit , punched , scratched , kicked , spat on etc , while attempting care and the quicker it could be done , the less injuries for me . We never shaved or trimmed though . But a lot or long hair made it more difficult to clean people incontinent of BM .
Some are combative only during hands on care , and calm the rest of the time , overmedicating into a stupor is not an option .
There are problems that might arise though.
Hair follicles can become infected causing more problems.
Hairs may become ingrown. Again causing more problems.
I suggest that you hire a Bath Aide to come in and give mom a bath or shower. Oddly it is often easier for someone else to give a bath than a family member.
A suggestion for you though.
If mom is on any pain medications or medications to calm or reduce anxiety medicate her about 30 minutes before you give her a bath, shower or try changing her. This will relax her a bit.
Also when you begin tell her exactly what you are going to do before you do it.
If possible let mom have a bit of control.
Give her a wash cloth. Say "mom can you do your arms while I get your legs"
This gives her something to concentrate on and get her attention off you doing her legs.
When you move to her hips or torso tell her before you move on.
Recover each area you have done so that she is not lying exposed and she can stay warm. (as a matter of fact if you toss a few towels in the dryer first you can cover her with warm towels.
I did homecare for 25 years for many people. I have never given someone a "trim" down there. It's not necessary. Don't even try to do it because unless the "trim" has been ordered by her doctor and there's a nurse coming to do it, it's abuse.
Call a homecare agency because what you and your mother need is an old-school CNA with experience in homecare. Both of you will better off if you bring in homecare for your mother.
Talk to your mother's doctor about prescribing her some anti-anxiety medication like lorazepam or xanax. Then dose her about a half an hour before it's time for her to be cleaned up. This will help. I had many clients who needed a little prescription help to stay calm so the hygiene care could get done. Talk to her doctor.
Get the poor soul some calming meds, please.