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Pennyante
Perhaps your POA needs updating. AARP has an index of possible tax/elderlaw attorneys (that is how I found I somebody).
IRS POA has its own form and that is likely why IRS wants notice of your mom's POA "updated". IRS also has Ombudsman's office where a taxpayer can meet with an Ombudsman's rep.
But I believe if you reach out to a tax attorney, they will be able to get your existing POA "updated" with whatever IRS requires (and your state's revenue agency if you're in a jurisdiction with state income tax). Good luck!
hasn't seen her since April (when I filed a Temporary Restraining Order against him because he pushed me, I fell and suffered a concussion). He has made it his mission to destroy me since then. He called Adult Protective Services, lied to the Police & in court. Now he made plans to take Mom to lunch and didn't say a word to me, I listened to my Mom's side of the conversation. She said he was "taking her out to lunch" on Friday. I told him via text that she isn't available (because we both signed an agreement that she has to have a caregiver present and he can "visit" her). Her caregiver comes on Monday & Thursdays). He has basically blown off the agreement. I fired my attorney, so now I have to find one pronto. I am planning on putting my Mom in care because she is always so angry and I can't do this anymore. And I can't even talk to my own family because of his lies & people taking sides. My (late) father would be disgusted, just like I am.
There are obviously other issues involved, and I do not care to elaborate here. It is sad when money becomes the issue and not the relationship. That is how I see it.
Well, it sounds like it might be confusing her. Then again, she may be equally confused if she didn't spend weekends elsewhere. My husband kept wanting to go home -- and we were home! That is common in dementia. Does she do any better in weeks when someone comes in to stay with her than when she goes out?
You also have to consider the practical considerations. The weekday caregiver must have some respite. It sounds like the family has come up with workable ways to share the load. Naturally you want to do it in ways least disturbing for your mother, but that can't be the only driving factor. If a mother with dementia has anxiety unless her caregiver daughter is within sight, that can't mean that daughter leaves the bathroom door open, never shops alone, can't get a sitter and go out for lunch, only goes for mail when Mother is asleep, etc.
Definitely try to meet Mother's needs as best you can. And realize that caregivers have needs, too.
I don't know what the arguments are about, but I hope you can hold a meeting with all siblings. (Can someone else stay with Mother?) Focus on how can we determine what the confusion/agitation is about, or at least rule out some possibilities, and what, if anything, can we do as a group to improve this situation. The enemy here is the disease, it is sure not any of the sibs. Avoid blaming and finger pointing. Keep the meeting about identifying the problem and coming up with solutions.
I am sorry but you are wrong, even if the mother wants to see her other children, that child does not have to allow them in their home, simple as that. as stated by some she may go their home or out to dinner with them if she is able, in my case, my mother is unable, I have power of attorney and medical power of attorney and 2 of my siblings she knows she will never see again as that is in her best interest and it is my responsibilty to protect my mother from anyone I feel is a danger to her, best wishes
My brother has the luxury to work from home & he use to sit with my mom every Friday until I got into a fight with his wife. I figure if they can take vacations, go to ballgames, eat at restaurants during the week they can surely carve out 1 hour to visit with mom & grandma. If there's a will there's a way. I don't have to be there for them to do it, which is why I suggested visiting during the day when I am work.
If my family has time to take vacations & do other activities during the week why can't they visit my mom during week while the caregiver is there?