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Do not interfere with the APS investigation. This is about what is in your wife's best interests. You might not be able to handle her care anymore on your own.
Being you're a "guy" doesn't make it any harder to keep a clean home than being a "gal" does. Please don't use that as an excuse. Hire a housekeeper or use some elbow grease because you were reported to APS for living in filth, for one, which is unhealthy for your poor wife who needs the proper care now. APS needs to hear from HER what's going on, not from you.
It's also no crime if you feel you cannot care for your wife 24/7 because it IS a hard job. If you need help, ask for it. If you feel she'd be better off in Skilled Nursing, there are ways to go about placing her w/o impoverishing yourself. An elder care attorney can help you with that.
I'm sorry for your predicament and your wife's health status. Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.
I told the woman that Isabel has severe Aphasia both auditory and verbal. But I understand why they needed to interview her without me present.
Why the harsh treatment? You say I was reported for living in filfe. My wife's bedroom is spotless as is the bathroom and hallway. I sleep on a recliner in the living room. She never goes into the living room so no I don't keep it as neat.
You are correct, I should not have couched my cleaning abilities in such a way.
Thank you for replying but I did not come here to be rebuked. Who are you to judge me?
However from past site answers it seems quite unlikely that your care would be deemed to be inadequate. Another ‘best thing’ would be to ignore this (and anything else along similar lines) until and unless something comes of it. If you can guess who dobbed you in, you might like to have a little chat with them.
C'mon, you could clean the place up if you wanted to.
Since we're only hearing your side of the story, I can only guess that whoever reported you to APS, must have had good reason to as they were looking out for your wife, and if you have nothing to hide, then their investigation should be short and sweet.
I do however have to question your last sentence where you say that your wife "gets good medical care." If you let her Medicare coverage lapse "a few years back" how could your wife be getting "good medical care" the last several years?
Caring for someone who's had a stroke can be very hard work and at times be overwhelming. I know, I cared for my late husband who had a massive stroke a year and a half after we were married at the age of 48, and cared for him at home until his death at the age of 72.
There is no shame in admitting that you can no longer give your wife the care she now requires and deserves. And if that means letting APS take over from here and perhaps even getting her placed in the appropriate facility, then so be it.
You must now do what is best for your wife. Period, end of sentence.
I would call APS and talk to a supervisor and ask this question. If you wife cannot comprehend what is being said to her, then she can't give approval. And when there is a spouse, how does that work?
Your welcoming APS into your home is going to be the very best indication that you're a great caregiver. Do tell them that they are more than welcome to speak with your wife alone, but explain any verbal deficits she may have in communicating with them, and offer your own help, offer to answer any questions.
I cannot know who may "have it in for you" in a manner they would want to remove a wife from a husband. Can you tell us more about who you suspect did this report and what their reasoning is? Being a poor housekeeper isn't enough, and APS would not consider it enough unless there are mobility hazards present that may hurt your wife.
Good luck and hope you will update us.
Social workers know how to put words in a person's mouth. Especially elderly people or children when it's easy to get them to agree if you're nice to them or giving them attention.
Do you have any idea who called APS or why? A concerned relative or neighbor who didn't see/know the whole picture?
APS is likely in cahoots with wither hospice or some local nursing homes and there are cash incentives offered to social workers who bring in business. Especially business from people with property and good retirement incomes.
You don't have to allow this. Get yourself to a lawyer right now. In fact go to the same lawyer who did your POA documents. They will direct your next move.