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Your husband can refuse, it's his right. It's not his right to make you his caregiving slave. Let the chips fall where they may.
Best wishes to you.
My LO (after stroke) can answer simple memory type questions but lacks ability to plan forward. When refusing aides was asked how would they cope at home, alone? Blank stare. Unable to comprehend the consequences. Doctor said they can make medical decisions for themself, but not lifestyle.
It’s probably too late for a ‘softer’ method, of offering to continue his care if his behavior changes, but it is an option you could consider.
You have helped him a lot, caregiving the past years. It’s unusual for a spouse to be paid, so you did gain financially despite the caregiving hardship. Maybe you even continued, because you were gaining financially and now you feel you’ve accumulated enough money.
If he has money, organize a caregiving agency to come by. He can fire them, but you’ll have done the right thing before closing the door on a man you once loved.