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Your brothers must be old enough to help to some degree but if they haven't been trained to help it's probably going to be hard to make them. I wouldn't do things for them that they can do for themselves.
If your dad is healthy, he should also be helping. It sounds as if you are being taken advantage of since your are the "girl." Also, if you are living rent free, your dad may feel that you "owe" them.
Try to have a family meeting of some type to see if you can get them to understand that everyone pulling together will make it better for the whole family.
You may want to seek the help of a family counseling service for more support. Many are free or use a sliding scale.
Good luck, Brianna. You are strong. We all need the support of others. Please let us know how you are doing.
Carol
It is only natural that people only do what they must. But you are too young for this. Sit your family members down and let them know that work must be shared. Make a list--a real list of the true amount of work--it will surprise them! Then, ask for help in sharing the load.
And get out to meetings!!!!! You can't imagine how it will help. There are others in the rooms who are in your situation. Meet people; go for coffee! I go to a meeting every day! I am not in good shape if I start missing. Honestly!
Big hug!!!!!
USUALLY, there is family dysfunction, too, which helps push that button.
OFTEN, the others who are doing nothing to help, learned how to be that way.
These need to be taught how to help, maybe in baby-steps, so it's not so hard, then slowly add a bit more they can do...otherwise, if it seems too hard, they give up too easy.
Family meetings are really a good thing sometimes.
Making a list of tasks that routinely need done, really helps. Can post that on the refrigerator, and, list who to help with what, when.
Trying to get family members who can, to help, even with small things like taking the trash out once a week, helps them learn to be better people, too.
Letting them know how thankful you are for their help in getting things done, is a good idea, too. People need to hear that their contributions are appreciated, especially during hard times; it helps cope.
And can make you feel a bit better, too, just for telling them.
And try to get some home-help, as well. Check with your local Area Agency on Aging, or Social Services. See what might be available to help in the home, towards getting tasks done, and lightening your load.
Please keep us posted, too, on your progress! We're all here because we've walked the caregiver path.
Sharing what works, helps others.
Meanwhile, keep it in your heart, that you have achieved much, and have much yet to achieve. Hold onto your dreams, and take some small steps to achieve those. You are on a great path. Learning to be proactive in your life helps you, and helps others. Keep up the good work!
If the assigned chores are undone, stop cooking for them. Just cook for Mom, then you and the kids,(only your kids) go out for McD's on the night that everything ends up undone and something is gonna happen. Maybe they will take Dad out for dinner? Uh oh, did you forget to write down two days a week when it is: "You're on your own night."????
There are so many in your household, it just happens that way when there is no leader. Hire a housekeeper also, everyone pays. You don't have to do it all yourself, but someone has to organize everyone else. Then rotate chores. Is there a technical person who can draw up a flow-chart? Everyone does make their own bed, right? Otherwise, kick them to the curb.
And when your father says something like you're going back to the street, just answer him that no, you're going to start a good life for yourself, but you'll still be there to check in on them. My greatest worry for you is the loss of esteem and the anger that goes with living in a toxic environment will pull you back down to where you were. Don't let that happen. (It can happen. I used to smoke, but quit. Sometimes I get so angry that it makes me want to go buy cigarettes. I have to tell myself no, that I'm not going to let this hurt me like that. There are better ways to deal with the anger and hurt of a toxic environment. Hurting myself more seems not a good idea.)
Explain to your dad how important the meetings are and get a sponsor. Call your sponsor every day. That will be a big help. And read the literature. Do you have a Big Book?
Remember to focus on gratitude!!!! Gratitude can really save the day.
Big hug!