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Guilt is for when you've done something wrong, correct? What do you think you've done wrong? Getting your dear one professional care? Taking care of yourself?
These are not unreasonable actions. These are well thought out and caring actions. No guilt!!
I'm going to suggest to you that if you keep trying to care for him alone, YOU will end up injured, or worse. Then where will he be?
Of course you're sad! This is a sad thing, being separated from the one you love, but it cant be helped. His conditions dictate his care needs, not what our hopes or dearest wishes.
Please work on getting him placed long term. Talk to YOUR doctor today about your deep sadness. You may need some meds to get you back on your happy, productive life path.
((((((Hugs))))))))
Do what is best for BOTH of you.
I would try to find a facility that would meet his needs and where you can stay together. I live in AZ and we have lovely facilities that have layers of care so that spouses can remain together for as long as possible and both get their needs met, you could do activities and socialization while a professional staff is helping your husband with activities and socialization that are appropriate for his condition.
I am sorry that you are facing this decision, it is a difficult time and you are wise to see that you need assistance.
Please try to get some rest while your husband is being cared for by professionals. You need to your strength and your wellbeing matters a great deal for both of you. Do you have anybody that can spend a few nights with you?
Take care of you during this difficult time.
Great big warm hug and strength to you for your new journey.
My advice is to have your sons or friends help find a good placement for him, and you nurse yourself, pamper yourself for awhile. It is an awful time to go through. Be gentle with yourself, and accept support. Prayers and big (((HUGS!)))
I tried to tell her that if he wouldn’t have had the heart surgery he would have died. She questioned herself. Made me sad to see her hurting and blaming herself.
I think when someone dies people are in shock and their mind wonders all over the place with the ‘what if’s’ and the truth is the death could not have been prevented. It was simply ‘their time.’
You will be able to visit your husband as much as you want. You can dine with him as well as enjoying the activities you can still do together.
Do not feel guilty. Be thankful you are capable of making sure the rest of your husband’s days are ones you can share with him in a safe environment. Tell him you love him everyday. It may not seem to register, but he hears every word.
it is time for you both to rest.
The thing is, bringing him home would be a hardship for both of you, but it would also be really risky for both of you. He has already fallen, twice, and had a bathroom accident just to rub salt into the wounds; but then think how much worse it might have been if you'd been injured trying to help him.
In a perfect world, there would be a continuing care facility that you could both move into so that you can continue to lead your normal independent life but with all the support you need to meet his care needs. Is there anything like that in your area? What are your options?
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