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When he starts, walk out. He won't starve. He will find something to eat. And if he does get hungry enough, maybe he will be nicer to you.
I'd laugh out loud about the piece of egg in the pan, and say 'You're so funny; I planned to eat that."
Why would you want that to stop?
Think about that.
"I don't have a greedy or stingy or mean bone in my body"
This is your problem and Dad feeds off of it. Your too good. You are now an adult and as one deserve to be respected. Why did you have to leave a friends to give Dad his pills? Mom isn't capable of doing it? It seems to me Dad is. I think you are being taken advantage of here. I love this "you aren't enabling, you are disabling". (Another member posted that) Meaning have your parents do what they can do for themselves. And don't jump every time they ask you to do something. And ask yourself what are you getting out of this relationship. Are you still looking for that love Dad never gave you. Do you think he will change before he dies. Just because ur one of their children does not mean you owe them. Actually, a child abused in any way should not care for a parent.
If you don't have pill planners get them. Once a week fill them up. Put in a convenient place for Dad to get to with a glass of water.
What health problems does Mom have that keeps her from caring for Dad.
I can't quite get over this line -
"... and just because he's dying he has to start down right nasty arguments that he knows he's just acting like a child..."
*Just* because he's dying?
What do you think is a good enough reason to cut a man some slack?
Your father has not been fun to live with or be brought up by. I do get that. That's a very good reason why you would find it impossible to give him the care he needs now.
But in that case, accept that it is impossible and stop trying to do it. Step away.