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I would see a good urologsit for a good workup and for options and I wish you good luck. The urinary system is exceptionally complex ruled by both the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathtic nervous system. Think to yourself of those time when you have been out for the day, have a full bladder, and are now on the doorstep of your own home and you almost CANNOT BEAR the urge to go, it's so strong. Yet get in the house and get diverted and once again there's no urgency. Your brain is at work here, directing urges to your bladder, or not.
Hope you'll update us, and wish you luck.
You don't say if your LO is a man or woman... could be a prostate issue for a man (70+% of elderly men have prostate problems) and there may be meds that will help (like Flomax or others), for a woman there are meds for overactive bladder issues.
I agree with the others' advice about wearing protective disposable briefs (and taking away all cloth undies) -- this is hopefully already in place.
Nightime trips to the bathroom are the most likely time when an elder falls and is injured, so this is a problem that needs to be solved soon.
catheter would be uncomfortable for her although convenient for others and the point of hospice is to make your loved one as comfortable as possible
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