By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Also it may be time for him to move into a care facility if it too much for you. Maybe there are other facilities besides the one that you are still on the waiting list for.
I know this is very difficult but also try to be as positive as possible when asking for help or even seeing old friends. Say hi and be glad to see them. Even if it is just in passing. And when you do get help, and you can get out more, invite someone to meet for coffee. Be genuinely glad to see them. Sometimes people don’t know what to say or do but they can follow your lead. You are in my prayers, Joycee1.
Please don't give up. Things can get better.
Perhaps it is time to consider AL for him. There are some very nice places out there today, not anything like 50 years ago and all the post stories people keep rehashing. Why not tour a few and see what you think.
Sending support your way!
By eldercare do u mean homecare or LTC placement? Medicaid can help with both. So, if you are waiting for placement, then see if Medicaid can help with an aide a few hours a day.
The question is, how do you go about changing this situation to save YOUR life and YOUR sanity? You do not have an ostomy, nor do you have dementia. Yet you've devoted who-knows how many years to full time care giving and now you're about at the end of your rope, and rightly so. Dementia normally reaches a point where you cannot care for the sufferer at home anymore, even if you sincerely want to. It's just one of those facts of life you'll have to face up to one of these days ANYWAY.
If you can afford to place him in Skilled Nursing, do so asap. If you cannot afford it, apply for Medicaid and have him placed. He may not be happy at first, but he will adjust. You will go visit him every day, if you'd like, and you will bring him little gifts & treats, and you will sit with him and stroke his head and tell him you love him, but that you have to go home and sleep and shower and live what's left of your own life in some semblance of peace and harmony.
I work in a Memory Care community as a front desk receptionist. Every day I meet with husbands & wives who have placed their loved one here, because they had to, and they come to visit. They take their loved one out for a walk around the property sometimes, or for ice cream, or lunch, or for a drive. Or sometimes they just sit and talk. One gentleman comes twice a day to see his wife; once in the morning until about 1 pm, and then he comes back around 4 and stays till 8 pm. Right now, in fact, this gentleman is setting up the conference room to serve Thanksgiving dinner to his wife (who lives here) and his daughters. He even brought his mother's fine china with him! He's found a way to have his own life, and to have HER cared for properly at the same time. It's a win-win for all concerned.
It's okay to surrender and say Enough. It's time now, don't you think? Please get the help you so desperately need and DESERVE. You are worth it.
There are provisions made for the community spouse when one spouse goes on Medicaid. You don't lose your house if it is jointly owned.