Sorry that I can’t figure out how to append this to the previous Q&A.
Mom helped fill out the intake paperwork and went to the evaluation. Psychiatric PA was very kind and helpful, and Mom was cooperative, but Mom scored in the minor neurocognitive disorder range on the SLUMS evaluation, so psychiatrist wouldn’t write a letter declaring her incompetent (I understand why and don’t blame them). Mom’s performance was amazing to me, all my siblings, and the realtor working on her house sale, but I am pretty sure it was her best day in months. The PA reviewed a CT scan from an ER visit in early May, which showed some brain shrinkage and blood vessel restriction (ischemia?); they felt the cause of her cognitive decline was vascular.
Mom finalized sale of her house a day later (I was on an airplane going home), closed on it days later, and we were all celebrating until she took the check to the bank and couldn’t deposit it because it’s made out to her trust and she never set up a trust account. The bank wouldn’t open a new account in the trust’s name (I am not sure why, as I wasn’t there), but advised her to go back to a lawyer. Her trust is self-written and possibly not legal, although she told me long ago, she’d had a lawyer review it. Meantime she is holding the check, which scares me because she organizes things repeatedly and forgets where she puts things. She called me in tears claiming my brother had taken the check and asking me to help her get it back. She had put it in a folder and forgotten it, then claimed my brother replaced it there when he showed it to her. She obsesses over money, doesn’t realize she can’t call people and have them do her bidding immediately (on weekends and holidays), and even called the realtor and accused him of giving her a bad check because she couldn’t deposit it.
Although I was glad, she scored well on the psychiatric evaluation, it seems obvious to me and others that she does have dementia. But how to get it confirmed when she’s “passed” not one, but two evaluations done by different medical personnel??? Her anxiety and behavior are hurting her as well as all her children.
So I guess enacting her POA will have to wait a bit. I assume that you and your siblings are treating these situations and your interactions with her as if she is somewhat incompetent? As in, not being surprised by her lack of ability to handle these financial things? I'm assuming she does not want to turn over any control? Or will she accept "help"?
Sorry for your tough situation. Best of luck
Our trust is in a 3-ring binder - that's how many pages there are. I think she needs to talk to a Trust bank where they're familiar with these types of issues.
She is experiencing memory impairment and paranoia, which are part of dementia -- unless your Mom has a history of mental illness. With all the testing she's already had, more right now probably won't prove anything. People at the beginnings of dementia certainly have better days than others, although no one can predict it. If I was to take my LO for cognitive test, I'd make sure the appointment was in the late afternoon, which is usually the time of day they are "least" good.
So sorry for your family's distressing situation!
My sister has diagnosed OCD and ADHD. She's also a hoarder. Now she has dementia, too.
...I'm just wondering if your mother might have been dealing with something similar - and if she is, it's probably very good news that your brother took the check so that it won't be lost. Assuming your brother is a mensch.
At this point I'd advise you to contact your brother and suggest that you both meet with an Elder Law Attorney to untangle how to deposit mom's check into her bank, and also discuss how to legally deal with mom in the future so that she's protected from endangering herself financially or physically.
Best of luck with this.
Obviously her home was actually deeded and titled to the trust, so she had valid paperwork at some point, maybe finding the original transfer at the assessors office will provide the proper paperwork.
Best of luck. The very smart ones can muddle through just like pros, making it super hard to get medical intervention. My dad was quite amazing with pulling it together to get his way. Prayers that she doesn't muck it up and lose that check.
The title company or real estate attorney that does the closing/transfer on the house, funds are deposited into their account and checks are written off that account to the various places.... such as a mortgage company to pay off the loan... to the county/city for real estate sale's tax.... pro-rated HOA fees (if there is an HOA)... commissions to the real estate companies.... etc.... then to the seller.
If the check was written by the title company/real estate attorney there has to be a reason the check was written to the recipient's name as a "Trust". Your Mom needs to be something quick, as usually such checks have a 90 day limit.