Follow
Share

Well everyone. I am totally heartbroken as I sit here with tears running down my face. My honey passed away at 2:15 am yesterday morning. I was called at 900 am on Thurs morn and told to get to the hospital as he would be lucky to make it through the day or following day. I called his brother and headed to the hospital and they started their drive up. I was at the hospital from 1100 am Thurs to around 4 am Friday morning. He had told me several times while I was sitting there and before that he was tired and just wanted it over. He held on knowing his brother was on the way. Just before he passed over he asked his brother and sister in law to watch over me and take care of me (they are like my brother and sister). Palliative care stepped in near the last and kept him comfortable and at peace until he passed. I don't know what I would have done without them there. They stayed until today to make sure I was ok and then they had to head home.


Though I am no longer a caregiver if it is ok I would like to still drop in and say hi and add my two cents every once in a while. Y'all have a wonderful weekend and Thanksgiving.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
Oh Dusti, I know you’re heartbroken and that translates into so many other feelings like loneliness, emptiness and simply put, a deep sadness. But, if there is something you can be sure about is that you had a miracle happen in your life that so many others don’t, and that is to have actually known what true love feels like. You gave true love and you received true love,

Your honey even at the end of his journey was worrying about you and telling his brother and wife to take care of you, his love!

Both, caregivers and our loved ones who we care for, go through so many changes through this journey, that there are moments (so many!) when we feel so tired, so overwhelmed, so sad, angry..so done! And that applies to both sides. But it is all driven by the intense situations we are having to go through. The bottom line and the most undisputable truth is that we LOVE, we love and we live our love with everything it brings, every challenge and every joy.

At the end, when your honey was being let free from all the pain, physical and emotional, he was left with the feeling that is really the only feeling that matters, his link to you which will last forever, his love for his sweet honey!

In the middle of all you’re feeling don’t forget that blessing Dusti, the blessing of his love to you and your love to him. That never leaves, never changes.

Now rest, rest your mind, rest your body. Give yourself time to just be. Then get your life in a new order and do what your honey wants you to do for him, the ultimate gift you can give him and yourself: Take care of YOU!

A big hug and please keep coming by dear Dusti! You and your honey will be in my prayers.
(10)
Report

Dusti22,
I'm so sorry you lost your Honey.I know you loved him very much and took such good care of him.
I hope you will stay here on AgingCare to give and receive support.
Take good care of yourself in the days ahead.{{{hugs}}}, Lu
(7)
Report

Ahh, Dusti, I am so sorry. Now rest and take care of you. You did a great job caring for him and he appreciated it and loves you even more for it.
(4)
Report

(((((Hugs,)))))), Dusti.
(4)
Report

Dusti

so sorry, hope you can rest in the days ahead

come back here often, we're still your support
(5)
Report

Dusti, please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved honey and partner. I am so glad to hear the end was peaceful for him, and I hope you can find comfort in memories of all the loving and fun times you had together. You loved him well!

God bless and definitely don't be a stranger here.
(3)
Report

Oh Dusti! I'm so sorry to hear this news.

I'm glad that both you and your honey had loving people with you for comfort and support. Go on taking good care of yourself, now, won't you. Are your BIL & SIL still with you?
(4)
Report

Dusti, my condolences. Your words touched me. I am just so glad that you were able to see him while alive. I was worried that his brother didn't make it in time. But your hubby was able to hang on long enough for them to make it. I'm glad that hospice was there for both of you. You take care.

You're always welcomed to come back here to read, comment. Now that both of my parents have passed on, I went through a stage where I felt odd commenting here. Like I no longer belonged here since I'm no longer a caregiver. I found out that others have gone through this, too. And still come back here to comment. Come when you feel the need to update us on your life. It's fine. Anyway, I think some of us would like to see updates with your current mysterious health issue. {{HUGS}}
(3)
Report

I'm so sorry Dusti.
(2)
Report

Dusti, I am sorry for your lost. Take some time to take care of yourself.


God bless you.
(2)
Report

Dusti, I am so sorry to read this. Your Honey’s immense struggles are finally over, but yours are not. Please let us know how you’re doing, take advantage of the support of your in-laws, and try to do things that calm your mind and soul. Your comments comforting other posters here, even through your own struggles, are always so supportive. It shows you have such a kind heart. Please take care of it. ❤️
(4)
Report

So sorry for your loss. I am happy you have the support of your BIL and SIL. Yes, please, do continue to visit this site and post. Your comments and insights will help others, and you will always have a place here. I hope you find comfort in having had such a great love.
(3)
Report

Sorry for your loss, Dusti.
(4)
Report

So sorry for ur loss. I'm still here and Mom has been gone over a year. Ur input could be very important to others.
(5)
Report

Oh, Dusti, I am so very sorry. Please accept a gentle cyber embrace and my condolences. Be good to yourself and let others help you. Let us know how you're doing.

Please come back and give your two cents! I was Mom's live-in caregiver for 13 months until she passed. My friends on this forum probably saved my life and I check in nearly every day to try to carry help forward. Those of us no longer providing care can still give advice and comfort and be comforted.
(3)
Report

Dusti I am so sorry, I can imagine how lost and sad you must be. My prayers are with you, and you know he loved you and your care was wonderful
(1)
Report

I’m so sorry for your loss, Dusti. You were an awesome caregiver. Diligent and thorough — and always thinking ahead. Your honey might have been a handful at times(!), but he was YOUR handful. And your love and your grace always prevailed. Wishing you peace, comfort and blessings during this difficult time. (You are always welcome on AC Forum!) Big hugs.
(4)
Report

I am sorry for your loss. HUGS and Love to you, you are a precious woman and have been through a tremendous trial.

Take care of you and remember the good times. His misery is finally over.

Please stick around, you have advise that will help others through similar struggles.

May you be blessed with grieving mercies and many things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving!
(2)
Report

Hi Everyone... since the discussion will not allow me to respond to everyone individually, I just want to thank everyone for your comments, prayers and comfort. It means so much to me. And knowing y'all are here is a major comfort.

I wanted to get everyone's thoughts.... I am thinking about writing about what I am going through with the loss of my honey in the hopes that maybe it will help someone else who is going through the same thing and I wanted to get y'alls thoughts on it. I am not sure whether to post here or to start a new discussion. What are y'alls thoughts on that.

Y'all have a great night and a wonderful, safe and fun Thanksgiving.
(2)
Report

Hugs, Dusti, I am so sorry for your loss. You are always welcome here. I think starting a thread on your experience with grief as a caregiver could be helpful to you in processing your feelings and journey, as well as helping others who are going through the same.

I'm praying for you and for your honey's family.
(2)
Report

Oh Dusti- I am so very sorry for your loss. I know how much you loved and cared for him. You did a wonderful job caring for him, and enduring through all the challenged you were faced with. You are a very strong woman. I know that you are heartbroken and I am so sad for you. Draw your strength from the Lord. I will be praying for you. Please do continue to visit here. It would be very good for you and helpful to others for you to write your experiences. Much love Dear Friend and we are here. And HE is there.
(2)
Report

Thanks for sharing, glad you have support in place. Get your rest friend.✌💞
(2)
Report

Dear Dusti
I know you are happy for him that he has fought the good fight and is at peace.
Your posts were always so upbeat even though you usually had difficult issues to deal with. You have an amazing attitude. Good luck with your paintings and do come back and share your journey. You can rest now knowing he doesn’t need you to watch over him.
Hugs
(4)
Report

Thanks everyone for the condolences, support and caring. I sure miss him and will be starting a new thread about the next chapter in my life.....life without the love of my life, Steve, though I know he will always be with me. Y'all have a great night and a safe, fun and Happy Thanksgiving. I hope my new thread will help others by what I am going through and feeling as I start my new journey.
(2)
Report

So sorry for your loss Dusti. Your post was very touching. Of course you should keep on posting. My beloved mom passed three and a half years ago and I still am hanging around. We would be sad if you disappeared. ((((Hugs))))
(3)
Report

Sorry Dusti. Your honey is at peace and you are starting a new journey.
May God comfort your grieving heart and illuminate your path.
(2)
Report

By the way Dusti, it's great if people who lose their loved ones do stay and share what happens in the aftermath of care giving. So stick around of course.
(2)
Report

Hi Everyone,

- Thanks Gershun and SueC.

- Well everyone I just started my new thread. Right now it is under "end of life" in the discussion section. Thought it belonged in discussion rather than questions. Y'all have a great Wednesday!

Dusti
(2)
Report

Dusti i am so deeply sorry for your loss. I hope you are taking time for yourself. Thats whats most important right now. You, taking care of you. Youve always been there for me and you dont know how much i appreciated it. My mother passed in early september and its been very hard. Ive noticed now theres so many things i want to tell her and ill walk into my parents house ready to say maa theres something ive gotta tell you and i catch myself. Thats something that i hope will pass in time but thats what i miss so much. Take care and be safe. Deb
(1)
Report

Im so sorry for your loss
(1)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter