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@faithbeauty,you need to give up control and give it to the facility. I think your trying to hold on to a little control. Letting go is not easy, but really feels good
I wonder if you could knock this on the head by coming to an agreement with the staff that you will accept their judgement about whether he really needs hospitalisation. And that you will accept the situation if F dies a little sooner in the unlikely case that instant symptoms aren’t faked. After all, if F had no family, the staff would have to make up their own minds, not always give in to patient whims. You might like to think about who else is involved who might need to be included in the agreement.
Clearly what is happening is silly.
I have also been working on my happy place. I agree, it does take time. I hate that I waited so long to work on finding mine. Sometimes my happy place is just watching a good movie and having a favorite snack.
I'm trying to not let anything ruin my happy place. I'm sure I'll have my share of bad days but I'm doing everything I can to keep these good days. You can do it too.
My mom's knee is bothering her a lot today, all she says is her knee hurts, then in the same sentence she says she doesn't want to go to the doctors. Which leads me to believe she does. So I'm going to have to deal with that this week.
It's very hard watching them struggle, everyday.
I just work very hard to not let my mind wonder to the what ifs, and when, where, how. Because we know they won't be here forever.
It's work for sure, but we have to put are selves before then and let those nasty thoughts go.
We deserve to be happy! Healthy, physically and Mentally!! Believe that, hold on to that.
I have found that the quicker I can get rid of those feelings of dread the easier and easier it gets.
Hugs
Might be nothing or a lot of things. Diverticvulitus, no clue it thats spelt right, but that's something that comes to mind, causes stomach pain
Sorry for the confusion. My mind has been all over the place. He did not go to the hospital but he is still saying he might have to be admitted. He told me yesterday that they have not read the X-Rays yet. He says his stomach still hurts. He said that about 4 times during the conversation. He says he has been eating but not as much. Hopefully we will know the results of the test soon. I'm not saying his stomach is not hurting but I do know he likes to get me worried so that my focus will be on him.
Stopping the panic does make you feel better. I have been working on that. Dad will not answer phone sometimes when I call. He use to always answer or call me right back.
Now when I call mom, and she doesn't pick up, I can stop the panic inside me, by talking myself down. It takes time , and work, but it sure can be done.
And if you can stop that one panic feeling, it gets easier and easier, and your head feels more clear, your thinking is better.
And gradually those what ifs will just be little glitches and maybe a few skipped heart beats.
Think of your brain, on anxiety, it's just a snarelly over grown bush. With mindfulness, meditation, therapy, and positive affirmations, it can grow to be a beautiful tree
Your words are so true. I do have the "But what if it is REAL this time" syndrome. I definitely can't give up my life because of it. But I'm just worn out.
I think we often tend to suffer with the "But what if it is REAL this time" syndrome. And the fact is that it may be some day. That doesn't mean you can live your life on this tilt-a-whirl without getting pretty sick of it.
Good to hear from you. Wish the news was better.
Do go on your trip as planned. Something someday WILL happen to your dad. That can be banked on. And you can't meanwhile give your life up because that some day could be this day. That's wouldn't make sense at all.
Thanks for the suggestion. I will leave it open. I definitely have a lot going on.
You have a lot going on. Let us know how tomorrow goes, also.
I'm at the end of my rope. I want him to be taken care of if he is sick, but I know he likes attention. Thank you for saying that I'm doing the best I can because I really am.
Evidently he is telling people that he is going be admitted to the hospital tomorrow because a friend of his just called and said he told him he's being admitted tomorrow. He has had so many tests run already and they were all good.
I get it, I go through spells where I just can't take one more issue.
Faithfulbeauty, you need to take care of you, and try to not worry so much. Dad has people being paid to do that. Your doing the best you can!!
Lea, your story made me giggle 🤭
This reminds me of the time dad was in the hospital with a broken hip, getting "attention", and mom decided she had way too many black & blues on her arms and needed me to take her to the ER. She was taking a blood thinner, btw, which was the reason for the bruises. I was seeing red. I took her to the ER and the doctor said, Josephine, what are you doing here? You're taking blood thinners and questioning BRUISES?
Mom says, I'm not questioning anything, my daughter insisted I come to the ER.
I truly thought my head would explode at that point.
Tell the AL not to call you unless dad decides to go to the ER. And then you'll meet him there. That's what I'd do with my parents, let the ambulance take them. He will get triaged much faster that way too.
Good luck to you.
I had stomach cramps Thursday that hurt really bad but I did have any other issues. He says he wants to go tomorrow to have tests run but when they wanted to send him today, he refused. It is just tough not having anyone to lean on which is why I love this forum. I really can not afford to miss work if there is nothing really wrong and I do not have anyone else to send to check on him. Hopefully it is just a bug.
Yes there is a bug, and mine started with cramps, after I was done barfing, every time I ate the cramps would come back, so see if you notice that and maybe a bit week in the knees kind of feeling.
I hear you though, it could be the bug or it could be nothing.
You are just plan tired of the problem, completely understandable.
One time I took Mom to the pharmacy, the next day she called and said her pills look different. My thoughts where, ugh she just want to go back and putter around rite aid, but I also new , ya don't mess around with scripts.
So I took her back. Low and behold. They double her meds that lower her heart rate. If she took them things could of gone very bad.
But in your case if it is the stomach bug, there isn't anything much can be done. Id just monitor him, and increase his fluids. Unless it gets worse.