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I miss that feeling too.
Verystressedout:
\Not to burst your bubble but.
I still do not feel like "myself"
But that is because I am not my previous self.
I am older, wiser (no wise cracks!)
And more important I think I am a better version of me.
I learned a LOT caring for my Husband.
I would not trade that knowledge for anything..ok, maybe if he were never diagnosed and we both lived a long, healthy life doing what we wanted to do. But that isn't / wasn't in the cards.
It has been 6 1/2 years since he died. His birthday would/is at the end of this month.
I Volunteer (for the Hospice that helped me care for him)
I am a co-facilitator at a Dementia- caregiver Support Group.
I help distribute food to veterans.
I keep active.
As frustrating as it has been these past few days I enjoy this Forum.
I like passing on the things I learned.
So..you may never feel like you did 7 years ago. But really you shouldn't. We should always change, evolve, make ourselves better.
But I know what you mean.
You need to take care of another very important person, and put that one first. That VIP is you.
Let yourself have time each week that you can set aside and do something for you.
You do not have any info in your profile but a few things you can do
If there is an Adult day program that the person you are caring for can go to. A few days a week is perfect.
Getting a caregiver in 2 days a week for even 5 hours is a tremendous help
There are organizations that provide Volunteers that can help
Your local Area Agency on Aging may have programs that will help
If the person you are caring for is a Veteran the VA might be of help. Check with your local Veterans Assistance Commission they can help determine what benefits are available.
I am no longer "caregiving" but living in hell with the woman and think angry, hateful thoughts all the time. That's not who I am.
I’m OK with that as long as the change is positive. But if I’m much sadder than before, then I don’t like that change.
Make the most of life while you can, is the message. You just don't know what left curves await you. Take joy in simple things and be sure to take time for YOURSELF while caregiving. Hire help. Utilize AL especially if youre burned out. Whatever it takes.
Keep in mind that life isn’t easy for any of us.
It may appear that some people have a wonderful life but we never know what they are going through or have been through during their lifetime.
No one makes it through life without struggles. People may or may not share those struggles with others.
Haven’t felt that since . FIL driving us nuts now .
When was the last time I had made a decision solely based on what I wanted, took action/risked everything based on what I believed was in my own best interest - no compromise whatsoever.
The year was 1981...before I became pregnant with my one and only child.
I have been a caregiver, in one form or another, ever since.
I do remember the feeling I had back then, though, when (for a little while) any possibility seemed open to me...almost like I could fly if I wanted. Sadly, it didn't last too long.
As the saying goes..."Life slips in the backdoor..."
That's why I'm moving my sick husband with me to Missouri after 34 years in our condo. Our daughter and grandkids will be near and medical records can be transferred. Colin Cancer stage 4 diagnosis a few months ago turned out world upside down.
You wrote, “I think family involvement is very important”
You don’t mean your involvement in helping an elderly person: you mean involving OTHERS (family members) in your and DH’s aging troubles.
Please be careful. You married DH, made vows to help him. But your daughter should be free to live her life. Asking for a bit of help is OK. Not asking for a lot of help. You gave birth to your daughter so she could live her life, and make something of herself; not so she becomes a caregiver or helper or assistant for you and DH, for years and years.
Just be careful please.