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if supplies such as diapers, wipes etc were being purchased that could explain the cost
I went through my mother's money like a hot knife through butter during the last year or more of her tortured life, but thankfully, I didn't have to answer to anyone demanding to know where and why every penny was spent. As an only child, it was only ME responsible for everything, including all the chaos involving hospice and spending almost every waking moment at the ALF with mom while she was under their care, making decisions on her behalf, etc. Each time hospice was on board for each of my parents, it was a dreadful time in my life.
You've been 'out of state' the entire time your sibling has been dealing with the chaos that goes along with managing a parent's entire life, and now you're firing off questions at them asking about how they spent money hinting around like they are a thief?
Call a lawyer.
So both sides can voice concerns & discuss in front of a third party. In person being 1st preference, then video call, then conference phone).
I am sure it is not easy being the out of state person kept in the dark. I am sure it is not easy being all the boots on the ground help either.
It may take more than one appointment to hear each other. To reach a direction/solution.
I would think leave out in-laws (if no legal reason exists for them to be involved).
You want less drama. Less 'us & them'.
More, 'let's sort this out'. Sensibly.
Did the POA say he could be paid for his services? If you find the answer is no and
LTC, all I would have had to provide was clothing and shoes. The toiletries I provided they chose not to use. The facility provided them. They provided the Depends.
You need a lawyer to write your brother a letter telling him he needs to provide an accting of money spent while acting as POA for Mom and Dad. Maybe attaching bank statements with questioned charges highlighted. Maybe call the bank and ask for copies of the checks.
Did his POA read he could be paid as POA?