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My father was very secretive with his finances also, until he fell and broke his hip in 2014 and had to go into Assisted Living. I then became privy to all of his info, took over as financial POA and began using his funds to pay their bills and am still doing so. He passed in 2015 but mother is still alive in Memory Care and paying $6400 a month. When the money runs out, I'll apply for Medicaid & get her into a Skilled Nursing Facility, if she is still alive.
Oftentimes it takes a crisis before a parent will open up about their finances. I hope that's not the case with your folks!
Best of luck.
She no longer trusted me from that point on. She wrote a letter when she first entered the NH to let everyone know that I put her there and to not let me get the condo. (Of course it was unclear who would be getting the letter, and the address wasn't correct...)
And then when her money had to be accessed to pay for the NH, there was just the sort of trouble I'd been afraid of. I'd been trying to get ahead of it. No good deed goes unpunished.
(There was a silver lining, though. I was removed as one of the POAs, and POAs couldn't be paid as part of the POA stipulations. But since I was no longer a POA, I could be -- and was -- paid for what I did for her -- $20/hour -- paid by my brother out of her funds.)