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Having a spouse with dementia is EXTREMELY tiring and frustrating and depressing. Yes, wouldn't it be great if they had a patch for us caregivers? Some of the things that have helped me cope:
1) Directing the anger at the disease. When I have been short tempered with my husband I apologize when I calm down. "I am mad, honey, but not at you. I know you can't help this. It is that darn Lewy that I am mad at."
2) Personifying the disease a bit. We call it Lewy. "Lewy was really hard on you today, wasn't he? But tomorrow is a new day and maybe he won't show up at all. I'm always here for you. You'll never have to deal with Lewy alone."
3) Getting counseling and drug therapy for myself.
4) Even better than the therapy, attending a caregivers' support group.
5) Leaning everything I can about my husband's disease. This helps me know what to expect and to know that we are not alone. We aren't doing anything "wrong" -- this is just the nature of the disease.
A book I recommend every chance I get is "Loving Someone Who Has Dementia" by Pauline Boss. She gets it! For example, she understands that we lose the relationship between equals and now we have a dependent. But the choice isn't between a perfect relationship and no relationship ... she talks about aiming for the "good enough" relationship.
"Treasures in the Darkness" by Pat Snyder is about practical steps for early stage dementia of the Lewy variety. I'm not sure if you are beyond that point, but it is a fast read and good.
My husband is now on hospice care, so we are on the last leg of this sad journey. I have been blogging about this for a couple of years on CaringBridge. Let me know if you would like access to that.
Best wishes to you as you struggle with this very challenging life journey.
My husband died a few weeks after my post above. His autopsy confirmed that he did indeed have Lewy bodies throughout his brain. I think it can help to know and to visualize that our loved ones have damage in their brains. It helps to not take their behavior too personally when we realize it is not fully under their control. We are not robots and we do have feelings! But it can help a little to Think about the disease process and to separate what it is doing from who are loved ones really are.
Yes Nilotinib is still in testing for PD.
But due to the miraculous results the University Of Georgetown got from the study and the fact that it can only fix ailing cells; not bring dead ones back to life; I'm not waiting 15 years.
I and a group of like minded people are pooling our resources and getting some made and tested by a 3rd party lab, then we will be taking it... For R&D purposes...
You will find the us on Longecity.
It would seem that this and most forums don't like the idea of someone finding a 'cure' and posting about it everywhere they can..?