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Hang in there Sweetie, sending you lots of love and strength.❤️
Crying is good. It stops you cracking up so much.
I send you support and love.
(((HUGS)))
I guess they don't know what else to say...
I had someone tell me that too. but when they get to that certain point of dementia, its really just devastating each passing day. that blank stare :( etc ... by the time my dad passed away it was just a relief. (hope that doesn't sound bad)
There are many that feel the same way. Mom even asked me to help her to die early in her disease. There is a thread about wishing they would die. Perhaps it may help you not feel so alone, because you are not.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/a-common-caregiver-confession-i-secretly-wish-my-ill-loved-one-would-die-139321.htm
I have been going through this with my husband for almost ten years and it is the same thing: I lose him a bit more every day, day after day after day after week after month after year.
Recently I stood back from the situation and realized that I cannot end my life with him. I have to live. So, while I continue to care for him, I continue to live: to work on projects, to get together with friends, to find joy.
I wish I could tell you that I was traveling but this lifestyle is very confining. I am going to visit my mom 500 miles away next week and I think it was easier for Eisenhauer to plan the Normandie invasion. I am exhausted and have not even left yet!
But, so it goes. Long and slow, first with my mom and now with both of them. Long and slow. Thank goodness we have each other here to learn from.
So, I cannot offer you much. Only understanding, and please do not forget to live your own life!
It's time to begin another busy day. I am so lucky to have my husband, who helps me slog through the emotional bog.
And, thanks to all of you.
What I did love was looking each day for some bit of joy, the way he would try to "sneak" my breakfast when he though I was done. (I would leave my bowl with a bit of yogurt and fruit and while my head was turned he would grab the bowl and eat what I left!) Listening to him watch the Cubs game. While I have no idea if he was reacting to the game or just the excitement he picked up I have no idea but he seemed to enjoy it.
Look for the little things that may seem unimportant now but in a year or so they will mean more.
Go for walks, hold hands. continue to do the things that you always enjoyed before. Talk to him about your life, what you are doing. You never know what gets through. If nothing else I am sure he loves hearing your voice.
Don't know if I can make you feel better but can try to make you feel that you have others here who can empathise.
I am in similar situation. My Dad age 92 in care home since October last year. He has some form of dementia. Like yours decline has been rapid. He is completely unsettled. Never watches tv which he loved before. Just sits there and complains about how much he hates being there, complains about staff and food. It's all lies and very exhausting. I am an only child too so it's hard. Complains about it all the time. He says he's leaving care and I am so worried that he tries. He is capable of trying any lies to get what he wants. He asked one of carers to marry him . When she refused he wrote a note with his old address and phone number on it asking her to stay with him. Being nasty to me cos I won't do as he asks. Hope its a phase. Don't know how long I can go on like this. Haven't been to visit for a week. Self preservation.
I used to wonder how people could lose an elderly parent and bounce back the next week. Now I know why. It's because they actually lose their mother or father long before the moment of physical death, have already worked through the grief, and see their actual death as a moment of relief and release.