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My mother's Alzheimer's condition was diagnosed by an neurologist. He ran a series of verbal test to check her memory and cognitive function, and determined that she had Alz.
The idea of your mother keeping a journal of his behavioral changes is a great one. She needs to show the journal to the doctor prior to the visit so the doctor can be prepared. Your mother needs to get him to see his primary doctor and then get a referral to a neurologist.
If he resists seeing his doctor, tell him it's his annual exam and he must go or else insurance will be cancelled. Or tell him your mother needs him to accompany her to the doctor. Or make up any excuse to get him in.
My mother gets really angry when I tell her she has to go to the doctor. It's a nightmare getting her in the door, and keeping her there until the doctor comes. So, I hope your dad is more cooperative.
Have there been any recent changes for either of them?
These fits of extreme anger - what are we talking about, here? Shouting, throwing things, door slamming, directed at your mother or at the world in general?
What sort of activities has he withdrawn from?
What sort of forgetfulness? - e.g. the classic "forgetting where you've put your car keys is normal. Forgetting what your car keys are for is not."
The thing is, it *could* be dementia; but it could be dozens of other things too and it really is best to keep an open mind. You don't want to start down one track only to find you've missed something terribly important.